Saying goodbye.

This is mainly a note book.Since I know my parents won't find it.

I fucking HATE myself.

I wish I could just tell them goodbye and be done with it and finally man up and fucking...You know what.But I can't.

Because I know it would hurt them so much.And I know that they'd try to stop me.

I wish I could tell them how I feel.

I doubt Ethan loves me anymore.

Shan probably hates me.

Kat doesn't fucking want me around.

Jane wishes I was dead.

Jeff doesn't talk to me anymore.

Addam live somewhere else now.

Asher thinks I'm...good.

Zander sees me as a dad and I don't mind but I just...wanna be me.

I hate it.

I hate me.

I wanna be good.

I just want to help and stop hurting people.That's all I'm good at.Harming.

I used to be such a good person.What happened to that.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

Now all I can think about is fucking dying and I can't tell them because I don't want them worried.It sucks.

I wish they knew how I felt.But at the same time,if they did,would they hate me?

Would they replace me?

Would they tell me to do it?

I kind of....Wish they would tell me to do it...

Then I'd know...

Because once they tell me...well then...all I want is their happiness so I'd do it in a heartbeat...

Please just tell me to do it guys.Please.Im begging you to let me go.Youd be fine without me.I know it.Because you're strong.