One-Shots

Blackmailed to dance

Pairing: Female!Batman x Joker

(The video is for anyone who hasn't heard Bailando by Enrique Iglesias, aka the song that the two dance to at the end)

Word Count: 5,241

Charity Balls

Oh how the Joker despised them.

The sleazy, rich folk with their paid for smiles and designer, hand-stitched clothing. They all thought themselves superior then the other; a mere viscous yet sophisticated scrabble to the top of the food chain.

The more well known your name was, the higher you rose.

No one knew him at the moment, but they all had seen him at one point in their lives. It was amazing what a little latex, some neatly applied makeup (nothing like his usual tastes), some new, freshly dyed hair (begrudgingly and plain blond), and a well-tailored (sadly not purple) suit can do to a man. He slipped easily into their ranks, a little too easy for his tastes, but for now it would do.

You see, awhile back he had discovered exactly who his Batsy would portray during the day. The Joker had been mindlessly flipping through a magazine, seeing exactly who was the dumbest of the rich flock and who would make the perfect next target when he stumbled upon her. Bryce Wayne. She was quite the looker, but the look she was giving the paparazzi was nothing to be desired.

All scowl and glare was the look the billionaire was sporting at a group of vultures with flashing cameras. Skimming the story, he concluded that no, it had not been what her boyfriend said and their relationship wasn't going to fall apart at the seams (he's seen her track record, never dates a man for long anyway); she had merely been scowling at being found out by the greed of the media. Later pictures showed that dazzling yet fake (oh very very fake, he could tell these things) smiling face with a caption saying 'was she putting on a brave face?' and he rolled his eyes at that.

But he stopped and looked at the first picture. Something about that look, why it reminded him of a certain flying rodent and he giggled at the thought.

Oh his Batsy, now she was perfect. His other twisted and freakish half. The Joker knew that she hated when he compared the two of them. But they were truly made from the same cloth; destined to play forever. Batwoman was all work and no play, but he always seemed to stretch her control just a little bit this way or maybe a little bit that way. Then she'd hit brutality with nothing holding her back and the Joker loved it.

Anyway, for the heck of it, he took a black sharpie and scribbled over that precious scowling face (I assume you understand where this is heading).

Pretty soon he was staring his beautiful dark princess straight in the face.

First it had been shock. Because how could it have been this easy!? All he had to do was doddle on a press picture and that was how he'd find his Bat? He almost wanted to pretend the picture wasn't real, that this wasn't happening, that his Bats was simply an immovable object with a mask and not a woman. Anything but human.

Then it turned into soft giggles until he was, to put in simpler terms, laughing his ass off for 10 whole minutes. It was hysterical. His rough and tough, crime fighting Bats was simply a sultry, billionaire bachelorette behind the mask?

It was too perfect, and he knew he simply had to take advantage of this knowledge. One would think he would reveal her identity to the world, but no no no, that would be cheating. And he absolutely loathed cheaters. Nope, he was going to put this to good use.