Lab Rats

Chapter 5

TRIGGER WARNING: S3lf h4rm

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The shared shower room was cold and dank, with walls made of old concrete that looked older than the building itself, and six showerheads lined up on one wall, separated by only a small slab of wood an average sized adult couldn't really hide behind. Under each showerhead were two small metal trays. The one on the left held a bar of soap and a clear bottle of white shampoo, and the other held a can of shaving cream and a razor. Once the peach fuzz mustaches started showing up, we were taught how to shave and were expected to stay clean shaven from then on. Small mirrors were hung between the two trays, and the only light in the room came from one single light bulb enclosed in a steel cage hung from the middle of the room.

Most days all five of us were thrown into the room and given 12 minutes, but some days when whatever test they put us through was especially taxing and we had to go to the infirmary, as I just had, we were allowed to shower alone for 15 minutes.

So very thoughtful of them.

Tossing my clean clothes on the wooden bench along the wall opposite the showers, I crossed the room to my designated shower stall and stripped my clothes off and tossed them over the slab protruding from the wall. Turning the water to the highest heat, I waited for it to slowly heat up, shivering in the cold mist that floated off of the stream of water.

Once the water was hot enough to scald my skin, I stepped into it. I reached for the razor and studied it for a moment, letting the water soak through my hair. Then I pressed my thumbs against the top of the razor, facing downward in the same directions as the blades so they didn't dig into my thumbs, pushing until the top blade popped out.

Holding the blade carefully between the thumb and pointer finger of my right hand, I set the razor back down on its tray and then looked down at my body. There were already horizontal lines from the bottom of my rib cage down to my left hip, but most of them weren't very deep and were already mostly healed. Finding an untouched spot between a scar and a partially healed cut, I held the blade against my skin and pressed down. A sharp pain pierced my side and I sucked in a breath, but continued in a quick, practiced slashing motion. Blood immediately pooled in the fresh wound and began dripping, mixing with the water from the shower and running down my side and leg like bloody tears. I added another cut, and then another. The third was deeper than I meant, and I winced, but I figured if I let the water run over it long enough it would stop bleeding on its own eventually.

I glanced at the mirror and instantly regretted it. It had yet to fully fog over and I could see that I looked as shitty as I felt. The usual dark circles under my eyes were a shade darker, my eyes were dull and lifeless, and my cheeks looked gaunt. But the worst part was my torso. I was naturally pretty slim, almost scrawny, but because of our workout routines, I had some muscle definition and the outline of abs. It was nothing compared to the six packs Amir and Parker had, but if I were in the real world, I'd probably get my fair share of stares. But any pride I may have felt towards my body was dashed away by the scars and burns that littered my torso. Blood was still running down my side, but not enough to cover the red cuts and scars beneath the flow. There were four circular burns where the electrodes had seared my skin, and red tendrils of burns crisscrossed my body. I tilted my head to the side and could see one trailing from the bottom of my ear and down my neck, disappearing behind the curve of my shoulder. Tiny puncture wounds peppered my entire body from where the shattered glass had hit me.

I turned away from the mirror, dejected. I hated how much power the facility had over me. They told us they kept us here to protect us and everything they did was for our own good, but I stopped believing them when they started the treatment that gave us our abilities. We were nothing more than lab rats to them. The only reason they didn't take their experiments to the point of killing us was because it took so long to get to the point we were at now. Here, I wasn't a human; I was an experiment, and I only had worth if I was being put through some miserable test.

I knew inflicting new wounds on myself was kinda counterproductive, but it was the only thing that made me feel human, and like I had any kind of control over my own life. They could do their stupid experiments and injure me however and whenever they wanted and I couldn't do anything to stop it, but these cuts were mine. I got to decide where the pain started and where it ended. The blood that ran from them wasn't that of a lab rat in the name of science, it was human blood.

An intercom in the roof above my head chimed twice, letting me know I had ten minutes left before someone came to take me back to my room for the night. I sighed and replaced the blade in the razor and then lathered shampoo into my hair. Once I finished, I dried off quickly and put on the clean clothes. The door to the bathroom opened as I was shoving my head through the white cotton shirt and a guard glared through the doorway as if my very existence personally offended him.

Well, it's not like the feeling wasn't mutual.

I pulled the hem of my shirt the rest of the way down and gave my hair one last rub down with the towel before tossing it to the floor and heading toward the door where the guard stood waiting. He looked at the towel on the floor and his look of offense deepened. He made eye contact and though I knew it was a bad idea, I smirked. He grabbed my arm and shoved me ahead of him so aggressively I almost hit the doorframe and stumbled a little.

I walked in front as the guard guided me with a hand on my shoulder, as if I hadn't spent my entire life here and couldn't navigate these halls with my eyes closed.

We finally made it back to my room, but were met with another man and woman, both in matching white lab coats in front of my dorm. The man held a tray with two tiny shot glass sized paper cups, and the woman took one, handing it to me. Inside it was a large translucent red pill. I tossed it into my mouth and took the second cup from her waiting hands and used the water in it to gulp down the pill.

Once they were satisfied, they opened my door and allowed me to enter. The moment the door had closed behind me and I was alone, I threw myself on the bed in exhaustion. My sore muscles finally relaxed a little and I curled up under the thin blanket and drifted to sleep within minutes. 

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I'll be sure to add trigger warnings for each chapter that needs it, but just an fyi, there will definitely be chapters in the future with similar themes to this.