Lab Rats

Chapter 9

Okay so I said to just be aware that this book could be triggering, but I feel like this chapter probably could really use one, so trigger warning! 

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I was escorted straight back to my room, the guards shoving me through the door and locking it behind me. Their roughness didn't even register, and I stood in front of the door in shock. Was that our purpose? To find and murder anyone who disagreed with the company? The reason we were given abilities and put through all the research? My stomach twisted and I rushed to the toilet. I hadn't eaten in hours and all that came up was bile. I spat it into the toilet. I rested an elbow on the seat, leaning my forehead in my palm, trying to breathe through the nausea. But as soon as I closed my eyes, images of the people in the room flooded my mind. I could hear the little girl crying and the sound of the vents opening up. My eyes flew open and dry heaves wracked through my body.

Once my stomach stopped convulsing, I laid on the floor, eyes fixed on the ceiling in an attempt to ward off the memories. I wanted to cry, to fill the void that had opened up in my chest, but no tears came.

I laid there for hours, and the exhibition - both mental and physical - set in and my eyes closed without my permission. In my dreams, I saw everything all over again. This time, it was like I was on the outside looking in, watching myself fight the collar, the people trying to escape, helpless. I saw myself break the glass and get dragged out. I heards the rush of air being forced through the vents.

And then I watched them die.

I awoke with a start, sitting upright. My breathing was ragged and came out in painful gasps, my face stained with tears shed in my sleep.

The seal of my door released and I heard footsteps enter my room. There was a slab of metal attached to the wall, about four feet tall and protruding two and a half feet out, shielding the toilet from the rest of the room and the entrance. A pair of shoes rounded the slab and came into view from my spot on the floor. I followed them up to see a man standing in front of me, tray of food in hand.

"You'll be eating lunch in your room today." He said, as if that weren't obvious. He set the tray on the floor in front of me, then without another word, he was gone.

As soon as he had left, I wished he hadn't. Or that he'd taken me with him. Or something. Anything other than leaving me alone. My hatred for everyone working in this damned company multiplied by a million after what they did to those people, were probably doing to other people, but I didn't want to be left alone with the images of their terrified faces flashing in my mind every time I closed my eyes, the ghost of their screams playing in my head. I needed another human presence.

I laid back on the floor in defeat. Staring at the ceiling,

I glanced at the food and my stomach cramped again. If there had been anything in my stomach, it would've come up. Just the thought of food made me want to throw up. I stood up shakily, picked the tray up and set it by the door.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't go back to sleep, but I couldn't just stare at the wall. Everything brought back the images. In an attempt to distract myself, I grabbed a textbook from the shelf by the bed and opened it to a random page. I sat on my bed cross-legged, book in lap. I stared at the page, but forcing my brain to focus was nearly impossible and it took at least a full minute to realize I was holding the book upside down,and another five minutes to figure out I'd picked up the history book.

It wasn't ideal, but nothing was really ideal in that moment. It must've taken hours, but I read about different wars throughout history, how the world suffered a global pandemic and how it brought all the social problems to a head in the United States, where the facility was based. It eventually led to a civil cold war. The textbook said that a new political party had risen during the war and took over the government. It said that it fixed the country's problems, but it didn't specify how or what the problems were. I'd learned and relearned all of this through the years, but I saw it in a new light now. I wondered what the people in the room had thought about it. I read about how the party in power imprisoned defectors and punished them, but again, the book didn't go into detail and left me to wonder what their "punishments" were. I imagined that morning's mass murder on a larger scale, happening on the daily. I imagined myself and the other guys dressed in uniforms like the guards' and searching for people the government deemed bad, and killing them.