Editor for Hire and Book Review [Maya's Pages OPEN]

SAMPLE WORK #1

SAMPLE WORK #1

This is from my original work called, Nasia. It is posted here on Wattpad. You can read it for free, but disclaimer, it is not edited to perfection, so you will still see some errors and typos. Please do not distribute any kind of copy of my work anywhere. Thank you.

I did a line editing from an excerpt of my book, Nasia, from Chapter 3. There are parts where I only revised and rewrite the sentence, but there are also parts where I added more description and narration, enhanced the dialogue, made the character traits stand out, and more. Disclaimer: I am not saying this is a perfect edit (there's no such thing anyway), but I did revise the work to make it more cohesive and clear.

Now, it's your time to judge if my skill is enough for you to trust me to work magic on your own writing.

Original:

The day has come where they have to leave their home. Be an independent bird in the sky. Fly high and alone. Nasia and Xena bid goodbye to their parents and boarded the train. "I'm so glad we could go to Yeliara together, Nasia," Xena says. She places her head on Nasia's shoulders then closes her eyes.

"I still can't believe it. This feels like a dream, Xena. A dream I don't want to wake up from." The nauseating smell inside the train doesn't even bother her and keeps looking around to find an empty seat for them.

"Oh, there's one over there!" Xena stands up straight and grabs her towards the empty seat. But before they could place their things, three boys of their age sat on the chairs. "Ahh, excuse me?" The boys look at them but diverts their gazes as soon as it landed on them.

"Xena, let's just go find another seat. I'm sure there's still plenty of seats left." Nasia tugs her away from the boys but Xena keeps glaring at them.

Edited:

As if sympathizing with Nasia, the dreary skies loomed over them. It's the day she has to leave and be like an independent bird in the sky— fly high and alone. Her heart beat drones out the muggy, boisterous crowd in the train station while her mother drags her along. "Oh! Oh, there's your train. Hurry up, get your things, sweetie." Nasia grunts and picks her luggage, taking reluctant steps to the train. She boards the train, and unlike her, Xena is sporting a huge smile on her face.

Waves and kisses were thrown around as parents bid their kids goodbye. Nasia stared at her own mother who had tears pooling at her eyes. "Don't cry. I'll be fine, mother. I promise." She said that to console her mother, but in her mind, she needs it more.

Lavender scent engulfs her and soft hands grab onto her shoulders, shaking her dizzy. "It's time! Nasia, we're on our way to Yeliara after all those years of dreaming. We're finally at our first step. Nasia, am I still dreaming?" Xena stops shaking her, but soft sobs pulled Nasia out of her dizziness.

"It does feel like a dream. But, you worked hard to live in this dream. So believe it." Nasia holds Xena's hand, squeezing it lightly. Before Xena could reply to her, she pulls her to find available booths. Xena worked for her spot at Yeliara, but what did she do to get hers? Does she even deserve it? She's only a witch without magic. How much can she even do with that?

Xena finds an empty booth, but two boys push her aside, stealing the empty booth without care. "Avron, come on! We reserved a seat for you," one of the boys said. Avron raises his brows, but doesn't question his friends. He sat on the empty side of the booth, facing the two, still ignoring Nasia and Xena.

Xena clears her throat and glares at the two boys. "Excuse me? I found this booth first!" Some heads poke out of nearby booths, surprised at the loud shriek from Xena. Nasia tries to hold her hands, but Xena pulls away.

"Well, we sat here first, and this booth doesn't have your name on it." The lanky boy sticks his tongue and teases Xena like the immature child he is.

Xena's eyes grow wide, her jaw slacks open, but before she could retort, Nasia drags her away from that booth and into a different, and barely empty one. There they stand eye to eye with a snowy white girl with the pinkish lips and the reddest hair Nasia has ever seen. "Hello," the girl says.