SUMMARY: Kai never told you how he really felt about you, and now he's paying the price.
WORD COUNT: 800+
WARNINGS: Character death, hanahaki, Chisaki being jealous, just angst in general with no happy ending
A/N: I spent ages on this fic, and for what? A measly 800 words?? I'm disappointed in myself </3 Anyways, this was a collab with @okkatsudon for their Somebody New Collab! One down, one more to go-
A/N Part 2: Kinda realized that this is an involuntary reminder to myself to just- confess to my crushes before they start dating someone else?? Lmaoo-
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Kai hated this. Hated how he didn't ask for you beforehand. And now you were gone, on a date with some other guy, who he would've gladly obliterated if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't want to destroy your happiness.
He grazed his hand over his mouth, another cough racking his body. Eyes narrowed, he frowned softly. This... This disease, it was getting worse, wasn't it. He clenched his fists, biting his lip. He hated all of this. At least it wasn't too dirty... But he still didn't like this.
He huffed softly as he threw the petals that fell from his lips into the trashcan, closing his eyes as he tried to breathe in, laying down on the bed. His body started trembling a little, a sob racking his body. He curled in on himself, shaking as he gripped at his arms. He just- he just wanted you. He wanted you to like him back, he wanted you to smile at him the way you smiled at that other guy. He was so unhygenic, and he was stupid. What made you fall for him?
What was the point anyways... As long as you were happy, that was all that mattered, right?
No. That wasn't it.
He just- he wanted you for himself. He wanted to love you better. Not as a friend, but as a lover. But he knew he couldn't do that. You had someone else you cared for, and you only saw him as a friend. Although he hated the fact, he couldn't deny it.
He sighed softly, then flinched as he heard a knock. "Go- go away..." He got out, voice cracking.
Your eyes widened in surprise, you had just gotten back from your date. "Kai...?" You asked softly, worry clear in your voice.
He froze, biting his lip before hurriedly putting the petals away under his bed. "Go away, [Y/N]." His voice was sharp.
You ignored him, opening the door and stepping inside. "Kai, what's going on?"
He shook his head slightly as he glanced back at you. The pain in his chest seemed to lessen the more he was around you, but... He knew that that would make him fall more for you. But he didn't want you to look at him with those soft eyes of yours, filled with... What? Disgust, pity? Love, but not in the way that he wanted you to love him? It didn't matter, though. He just needed to get through this conversation.
"Seriously. Kai. Please." Your voice was soft, pleading. Your eyes were wide with worry as you walked a bit closer to him. "Tell me what's going on..."
He let out a soft huff, closing his eyes as he tried to think. Then, another cough racked his body, tears welling in his eyes.
You were quick to move toward him, staying next to him and rubbing his back gently until the coughs subsided. "Seriously... What's wrong, Kai?"
The male just leaned in to your touch, a soft sigh escaping him. "I... Have, uhm, Hanahaki..." He mumbled softly.
"I- seriously? Who's the person you like?" Your eyes were wide.
"...I'm not telling you, and anyways... They have no chance of being with me." He started coughing again, flinching as he coughed out a whole flower. Shit... "A-anyways... How was your date?"
"No. Stop changing the subject. Please, just tell me..."
He shook his head stubbornly, and you sighed as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close to you. "I don't... It'll just hurt more when y- they reject me..."
You frowned softly at his words. "I might be able to help, though. Put you on a blind date or something with them-"
"No!" His voice was sharp, then he started coughing again. Was that... Blood...? He didn't have much time, he might even die today... But it would be all right. Just hold on until you left.
You froze slightly as a thought dawned on you, eyes widening. "Kai... It's not me, is it? You have a crush on someone else, right...?"
The yakuza froze, trembling slightly. His voice broke as he uttered a single word. "Yes..."
You tensed a little, worry flashing in your eyes. "You have to get the surgery- I can't- I don't want to see you die, please..."
"I'd rather die than forget about you, or lose my romantic feelings for you." He huffed softly. "I don't want to die, yeah, but... I'd rather- rather be with you."
Tears blurred your vision as you held him close. "K-kai, please..."
His breaths were becoming laboured, eyes half-shut as he just leaned in to your touch, too weak to even start coughing again. He swallowed a little as he looked up at you, eyes softer than you had ever seen them. "...I love you... And I'm sorry, [Y/N]." His eyes then fluttered shut, leaving only the sound of your soft sobs to fill the room.
