On the Fritz

Chapter 5 - Part 3

He thought about it as he lay on his bed that night, absently staring at the ceiling. He desperately wanted to know why Will shut off, why Calum didn't seem to know that they sat together sometimes, why Will seemed to lie about telling him earlier. Maybe it meant he was obsessed with himself, and maybe he secretly was, but Fritz couldn't see any other explanation rather than that Will was absolutely in love with him but he was trying to play it cool.

Wouldn't it make sense? It would explain the hours spent patiently teaching him to play songs he liked, and how he never seemed to dwell on the fact that Fritz was occasionally a bad person. He knew the general consensus was that Will and Calum were slamming each other outside of school hours, but who could know for sure?

No, perhaps they really were just the good mates they claimed they were, and there was nothing more to read into. That would definitely make sense - Calum perpetually seemed too busy for anyone but himself, and Will surely wouldn't want someone as tasteless and mediocre as Calum. Because, really, Fritz did have to wonder, what did Calum have that he didn't?

But if Will was at all interested in him, Fritz knew he would need real evidence. He really liked being friends with Will, and the time they'd spent in those music rooms was highly coveted as far as he was concerned. There was no way he was risking making a fool of himself by doing anything too hasty, not when he already had Rafael to tie him over in the meantime.

So, for the next few weeks as the days got shorter and cooler, Fritz analysed every move Will made. Will was a real friendly guy, he was nice to everybody, but when the two of them were alone, Fritz knew it felt different. Sitting on the floor in that music block, Will would touch his fingers so softly, gently shifting them up or down a fret. Will would sit out the whole hour listening to him mess up simple basslines, and even though Will could play so much better than him, he'd just tell him to keep on trying. On the rare occasion when he'd nail a riff, Fritz would glance up, his mouth stuck in a grin, and Will would be doing that thing where he'd be smiling, biting down on his bottom lip, his eyes so warm that Fritz's own grin would falter again.

And Fritz wasn't a delusional guy, but he figured there was no way Calum was getting the lip-biting smile. Will had to be attracted to him, all he needed was some way to prove it.

Ideally, some way that didn't involve an Excel spreadsheet.

In all honesty, he wasn't sure what he was meant to do with the information if he got it. He'd grown really attached to Rafael, but after all of the times he'd tried to shut him out, the rose-coloured glasses were fading. He knew he'd keep on hooking up with Rafael for the time being, but this was stalling. Something had to give, and Fritz knew it would, he just needed to figure out a way to out himself accidentally. Rafael had made it clear that he'd probably still like him if the details on his sexuality got out, as long as Fritz wasn't the reason it slipped. If he could just pull this off, he could keep his pseudo-boyfriend and his sanity, and everything would feel okay again.

It shouldn't have been so difficult for him to devise a plan to get his homoerotic tendencies out in the public eye. For a while, he'd seriously considered just making a Facebook post like Rafael had, effectively ripping the band aid off in one fell swoop. It would be dramatic and bold, and what's more, it would make people think back to how Rafael had done the exact same thing.

Suddenly, the two of them would be linked together in the police investigation that was high school drama, they'd get slammed for colluding, and neither boy would have anything left to lose. It would be at this point that Rafael would say, "Who cares, Fritz, forget what I said, I will be your boyfriend".

Unfortunately, Fritz was worried this approach would kick up too much dust for Rafael's liking, and he only had one shot to get it right. There was no scenario in which his coming out went wrong and Rafael continued to hook up with him, so he had to be careful.

He'd already been trying to get the rumour mill churning on a more lowkey level, figuring that subtlety was his only real option. On a brain wave he was determined to ride out, Fritz had noted what every allegedly gay person at his school had done to generate their own rumours, and he was determined to copy them.

The entire time Fritz had known him, the gossip surrounding Will's hypothetical homosexuality had come from two places – his clothes, and the fact that he'd notoriously given Jeremy Hussey a suspiciously dreamy stare for six months in year 10. Fritz was not remotely keen on Jeremy, but changing his fashion sense was absolutely doable. So, in order to emulate Will in all of his homosexual glory, Fritz devoted himself to wide-leg corduroy pants, bomber jackets, and Ingrid's small rectangular sunglasses he'd stolen from her car. It hadn't taken long for Will to catch on; he'd given him a stack of the same obscure 80s band shirts he used to model a few years ago, and if Fritz was trying to get the same gossip Will had, he couldn't imagine a more authentic costume.

Beyond Will, though, Fritz had no evidence that anybody else had actually noticed his clothes, let alone thought critically about the implications of a man wearing wide-leg pants and jean jackets. He wasn't at a stalemate, though. In fact, Fritz was far from it.

It was going to take a while for him to figure out where to go next, but he didn't care. He had nothing but time, and in the competition that was their relationship, he was not losing to Rafael.

And with that, it's definitely in your best interest to read the next chapter. Something's telling me things are about to get wild.

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