I once was a Duchess

page one

                                  Since I was a small child I was always alone but not by mistake. But by choice. I liked the quietness of it all not having to please others or have others completely since it was always considered my "Job" as an item of my people and a reward to the man who has me.

 I kept a tight seal on all my thoughts and emotions, Never allowing myself to waver at the hands of someone else. I hated the thought of depending on someone and being the item of my people I had to constantly be graceful with a smile plastered on my face with the rulings of how to act like a noble lady and keep classic etiquette. 

My father always tried to encourage me to interact with the other children considering I was the " Soon to be Duchess" Soon to be wedded to my Childhood lover and Friend Ajun, The duke of welz.
I never really cared for what Father had said for each person he introduced me to had the same cold and fearful stare or the warm and transparent smile you could see through, with an ulterior motive wallowing in it. 

I would catch myself wondering away, aimlessly, hating how everyone distances themselves from me, Either because of my status, Or who my parents were, Or simply being frightened of me.
 Was being a duchess so terrible? What was wrong with me? What was so bad about me? Why were others so afraid of me? And from a very young age these looks, These glares and fearfully shaking hands carved me into the cold duchess I was. For the all labeled me "Spoiled." "Boring." "Worthless." And nothing but an Image to people of a woman that only wanted to marry the Duke due to his title. When truly it was a match made by our parents, Forced upon me with no choice and the constant nagging and being told "It is your job as a woman." 

This was when my small hatred for those bloomed for my eyes became cold and distant. Being no longer glossed over with tears but rather icy glares they once gave me. And from the world's coldness, I granted them the words and images they perceived me as while protecting them from the shadows saving those who could not be heard from the depths of the dark. 
All though I was irritated at this and growing up being neglected by all the other children, I still had a love for my homeland And the desire to protect and uplift it was there even if it's people rejected me.

But that didn't pause their rumors and lies of me. As my name was no longer my name and thanks to my  quiet nature that comes off cold,  I was granted with the unwanted title of "The Ice duchess." I was no longer bothered by such immature people for the people who truly knew me comforted me in warm words I had never grown use to hearing. But some part of me deep down wanted some part of the world to respect me as they did my best friend princess Evaline. But not once was I spiteful for my slight jealousy for her instead I stood by her side to be her shadow in waiting. Taking care of welz while occasionally being granted her grace's presence.

I only became friends with the Princess and The Duke due to their boldness and good images of me since they had observed I was always alone and always judge for merely being the one destined to marry the Duke. One evening the Princess met with the duke as she had to make an appearance at a young age here at Welz. She and the Duke met according since two knowing families were obviously supposed to meet considering the power both held and matters both families had to attend to.

I was sitting in the garden as my family had gathered around in the main hall. With the chatter of everyone never ending. With laughter and topics of all were discussed and the most known one, Politics. 
I'd simply sit at a small round table with a cup of tea and a small plate of sweets, And as the breezes kissed my cheeks and the smell of freshly bloomed flowers touched my senses. I'd relax and escape from the world's desires and fade into my own. 

Many hours went by as I observed the whispering breezes causing the leaves in the trees to dance. As well as the small flowers that created a pleasant smell painting beautiful images of free spirited lifestyles I had once dreamed of instead of such stressful matters a Duchess must attend to. I picked up my teacup lifting my cup up to my rose lips pressing the cup gently up to them taking a slight sip watching as my distant dreams wandered aimlessly through the whispering breezes.
"Breathe in, And breathe out." I taking deep breaths letting go of the distant dreams I had.