Alone • Liam Dunbar

Ten

"Jac? Are you still there?"

Melissa's voice is urgent and filled with worry, but I can't find it in myself to ease her mind. Not now. Not as my own is currently under attack from an onslaught of memories I spent a long time pushing away.

The kanima, it was like a trigger.

I began to think of the first time we encountered it, a time that coincided with the end of my affiliation with Gerard. All those moments he took advantage of me, making me believe I was a part of his family when really he thought of me as nothing more than another expendable creature, they all came rushing back at once. No amount of time could change what he did to me. No amount of time could change what I did for him. 

I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think of anything except those memories, and feel as though he was breaking me all over again.

Forgetting was the one kindness I'd always allowed myself, but Gerard always had a special talent for clawing his way out of whatever grave I pretended he was in. He wasn't dead to me. He was a part of me. Gerard would forever be my shadow, and there was no light that could ever make him fade because he and I were bonded; tethered.

My mouth moves, an attempt to speak, but nothing comes out.

A hand on my shoulder snaps me out of it, Liam coming up beside me. He looks at me with concern but doesn't ask me what's wrong. Instead, he takes the phone from me to speak to an increasingly panicked Melissa, saving me from having to force out an explanation.

I need to find something else to focus on to pull me out of this, but all my effort is going toward fighting the voice in my head that's telling me to drive my fist into the surface of a nearby tree. The desire for pain-associated relief isn't something I wanted to rely on.

My thoughts settle on Tracy, surprisingly.

She could have hurt Scott and Stiles, maybe even Malia and Deaton. If she hadn't, that didn't mean she wasn't out somewhere right now hurting someone else. I needed to find her, and I needed to stop her.

Unable to say much, I say nothing. 

I turn away from the boys and march in the direction of the entrance to the preserve knowing it wasn't that far. Liam truly was leading us in a circle.

"Jac?" Mason calls out after me.

When I don't respond I hear him and Brett both sputter out a few curses of confusion before they trample over the dry leaves on the ground, following after me. Liam trails behind them, wrapping up the call with Melissa.

We reached the entrance to the preserve soon enough, my motorcycle and Brett's truck still parked on the other side of the barrier chain. I straddle the seat, shoving my gloves back on after slipping my keys in the ignition to warm the engine up for a short moment.

"You mind telling us what's going on? What the hell does kanima mean?" Brett quotes me with Mason beside him, equally curious. 

"It's not good, is it?" he adds.

"Definitely not," Liam says as he comes over, shoving my phone into his own pocket. He knew about the creature from the stories I told him, fully aware of the carnage it was capable of creating with its master. 

He passes the boys and movies to join me on my bike, but I slide back on the seat, blocking him from doing so. He stares at me with a bit of shock mixed with hurt at my refusal.

"I'm faster on my own," I admit. 

I didn't speed with Liam anymore, not even for emergencies. I had yet to get him a helmet, something incredibly ridiculous now that I think about it considering how much I packed him, and the last thing we needed tonight was to worry about getting into a bike accident.