I promise, Darling.

Chapter 1

Hey, so this is my first fanfiction in English so if you see any mistakes please let me know so I can fix them. Also, any form of constructive critisim is welcome. 

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 "Darling, are you okay?", Loki asked through the closed door.

"Yes, I'm alright.", I answered, though I was very much aware that my voice was nothing more than a whisper and even the most oblivious person in the universe would notice that I was crying let alone the one person who knew me the best.

"Love, I can hear that you're crying. Please let me in so we can talk.", they said and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bother Loki with my problems, not again. They did so much for me already and I felt like the most ungrateful person ever, because I still hadn't gotten my life together. I was still this huge mess and wondered how they could even bear to look at me.

As if they read my mind Loki added: "You know that I am always here for you, y/n, no matter what. I know that you hate being seen as vulnerable, but I want to make sure that you're okay. Please, y/n, I love you."

I hesitated but eventually, I ended up opening the door, just to find myself in a hug only a few seconds later.

"It's okay, darling. I've got you.", Loki whispered while I cried into his chest. "I am right here, I promise."

"I am so sorry.", I managed to get out between sobs.

"There is nothing you need to apologise for, my love.", Loki said and gently rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

"There is.", I whispered and broke away from them.

"What do you mean?", Loki said quietly.

"I- I cut again.", I admitted and didn't dare to look them in the eyes.

"Oh,y/n.", Loki sighed and lay a hand under my chin, and gently made me look back up to them. "I know that it is hard to stop and I am not mad or anything of that kind. I just wish I could help you.", Loki said softly and whipped a tear from my cheek.

"How can you even look at me without being disgusted and freaked out?", I manage to ask but my voice is all shaky.

Loki looks at me with so much pain in their eyes that I try to apologise, but they cut me off before I could finish: "Darling, listen to me, please. You are a wonderful person and I couldn't be any happier to have you. You have a kind soul and a great heart and you're incredibly smart. I love you. And I wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you, so you could finally understand how amazing you are and that your thoughts about yourself are nowhere near to the truth. I love you, y/n, and I want to help you get through all of this. And nothing will change that.", Loki stressed and took my hands in theirs. "I am proud of you that you are still fighting every day, but you don't have to do that alone, okay?"

"Loki-", I stopped and just looked down at the floor. What was I about to say anyway? I had run out of words years ago. Nothing I ever said mattered.

"Y/n, what is it?"

"Doesn't matter."

"You know it does to me. So please, what did you want to say?", Loki asked and I could hear how worried they were.

"It's nothing. And even if it was something, I wouldn't know how to say it.", I admitted.

"Do you want to write it down? Perhaps that's easier for you.", suggested Loki but I just shook my head. "I think I am out of words."

Loki sighed again but didn't push me to say something for which I was very grateful.

"Alright, just promise me that you'll come to me if you want to talk."

"I promise.", I said hesitantly.

Loki smiled a little before they got serious again. "Did you take care of your wounds?"

"Yes, they're gonna heal normally."

They nodded before they put an arm around me and gave me a kiss on the head.

"Do you want to watch a movie, darling?", they asked, carrying me to our couch as I agreed and put on my favourite movie.