Loss of a Reason

The Exam

Judge Adeleke popularly known as the scowl judge, at least that is what the other lawyers refer to him as because they have never seen him smile like ever. Personally I see as as someone who has a tremendous feel for ordinary people, always using the law for it true purpose in the interest of fairness and justice. He was the only child of his parent, his father was murdered by his mother when he was a teenager right in front of his eyes. His mother got away with it which is why he went into the law profession so that he could become a judge one day and make sure he put people like that behind bars.

These write ups I'm seeing about Judge Adeleke scares the fuck out of me, he's definitely going to hang me tomorrow. I mean, his mother didn't try at all, how can she murder his father in his presence, poor child. No wonder Simi said he has never pardoned a murder defendant, please how could he? But this particular comment about him always being fair gives me a little hope because I believe I am innocent.

***MEMIOR...
Landing in Ilorin made me realize I was truly in Nigeria. It was hard getting a taxi from the airport. Not many people fly to Ilorin so that must be the reason. The people I landed with got their luggages and started running, I had no idea why in the first place but then I later realized it was cause of cab shortage. What a country. After waiting for almost an hour I got a cab which took me directly to the address Lara sent to me.

Seeing my friends felt different in this part of the world. Lara was the first person I saw, she came to help me carry my box inside. The accommodation provided wasn't the most comfortable one in the world but who cares, I'm just here for few days and I'll be home in no time. There was Mariam sitting on her bed eating, acted like she didn't see me but I wasn't too bothered and I could sense something was going on.

"Lara where is your bed" I asked

"I don't have one yet" she replied

" so where are we going to sleep tonight, should we go and buy one?"

"No don't worry, my dad's friend will bring me one in the morning" she replied

"So why have you been sitting here? Why can't you sit with Mariam?"

"She told me to call my dad to send me money that she can't help me"

"Same Mariam you give money whenever they don't send her money in school?"

"That is what gets me mad"

"Nawa oh" I replied after which I looked for a wrapper to put on the floor beside Lara.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Lara just told me, how can Mariam say that to her friend? Same friend that has always been there for her? Well different people with different behaviors. That night we started studying, it was different from what i learnt in school, it felt like I was starting medicine all over again. I was still trying to assimilate what I have read so far before I and Lara started hearing some noice. It turned out some girls were busy fighting over a guy. Seriously we are here to study and there are people here fighting over a guy, I will never be able to comprehend that.

The next day was tiring, attending classes filled with people, couldn't even get a seat, stood at the back all though the entire class and couldn't even hear a thing. This country is truly messed up, I honestly couldn't wait to just be done and get out of there. By the time we were back home, Lara's bed and remaining stuff had arrived. Nobody helped her to arrange everything like Mariam did and that got me wondering, human beings will shock you, she's nice after all.

Days passed by so fast, I hardly had time to speak with Ivan and Nina, I was too burried in my books and feeling anxious about passing this exam and getting it over with. Sometimes Lara and Mariam will be the ones to remind me to call. Finally the day of the exam reached. Have never been that scared to participate in an exam before. It was normal because this was different. How do I answer these much questions in no time and then go ahead to face a panel of doctors to answer another sets questions. Have never been good at answering questions like that, I'd rather write the answers down.

After writing the exam that day my mind wasn't at rest, I was paranoid because I knew deep down I didn't do as well as I should have done. The results were going to be out in two days and all I could do was keep my fingers crossed.

***PRESENT DAY...3:50pm
"Mummy can I have one of these, I'm hungry" Nina interrupted

"Will you keep quiet and stop interrupting your mum?" Iva uttered

"It's okay Iva, are you hungry Nina? We can go get you some proper food" I replied

"No mum I want one of these" she replied

" That one no good for you oh oyinbo ( that one is not good for you European) Azi said

"What did he say mum?"

"Just ignore him" I replied. " Azi wind down and get her gala and bigi apple"

"Are you sure Ma? She go dey shit oh if she chop this our naija gala ( are you sure Ma, she will purge if she eats our Nigerian snack) he replied

"Are you deaf? I said get it for her" I yelled

"What about you dad, do you want some? And you aunt Iva" she asked

"Nop, thank you" they both replied.

To my surprise Nina liked the gala and bigi apple, my baby is definitely a Nigerian.

"Wait until you taste what Aluna is cooking for us when we get home" I said to Nina

"I haven't eaten jollof rice since you left" Ivan uttered

"But you didn't even like my jollof, stop talking like you miss it" I replied as we both laughed it off

***MEMIOR...
It was finally result day, all you have to do is check if your name is on the list and if it is not you didn't make it. I didn't move an inch from where I was i just lay down there and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. "Results are out" Mariam yelled but I still didn't movie until she yelled again "Nala results are out" then I opened my eyes. The network was bad so it took a while before we could actually login but eventually we did. We kept scrolling but we didn't see our names yet until we got to the end and there was Mariam's name, I can never forget how excited she got and how loud she screamed. She passed the exam, she was the only one who passed the exam, the rest of us had failed. Lara began to cry " you will write next time" Mariam uttered, petting her.

I just sat there at that moment I wasn't sad nor happy, I didn't even know how to feel, probably because I already knew this was coming but what I'm I supposed to tell my uncle when I get home? That I failed ? That was the only thing I was worried about.

We all went back to our various locations with heavy hearts aside Mariam of course, she was done and dusted with that phase ready to move on to the next. I landed in Abuja the next day in the evening, got a cab from the airport to the house. It was almost as if everyone was waiting for my return. They were all seated in the living room watching television

"Good evening" I greeted with my heart pounding

"How was your exam? Did you pass?" Was the question my uncle replied with with

I stood there shaking my head, literally saying No but he wanted to hear me speak

"Did you pass??!!" He yelled

"No sir" I replied

"How did you graduate Meds school if you couldn't pass an ordinary exam?"

"I'm sorry sir"

"Sorry for yourself, your mother must be sleeping and snoring wherever she is"

It felt like a dagger had pierced through my heart, my eyes became heavy filled with tears, I tried to fight it but I couldn't.How did that even correlate with me failing an exam, an exam that over 40% of the people that wrote it failed? That night I wished he didn't say what he said, I wished he didn't mention my mother.