White Veil Occasion: short story [h.s.]

1 - uninvited

STELLA

I have always been a girl in love with love.

As a child, I had to make up what my own version of love was. I never had a healthy representation of love in my own house. My parents were too busy fighting with each other and throwing fancy plates made out of fine china from the top cabinet shelf at each other to show me what love was all about.

I knew at least, love was nothing like the sounds of glasses breaking against the wall, or the clinking of beer bottles taking up home in the fridge and on the counter.

My tiny feet having to be careful of where I stepped when I would be brave enough to venture out into the kitchen to grab a snack. The glass from the night before still waiting to be picked up at some point.

It wouldn't be picked up until I did it myself. Nothing would get cleaned unless I was the one do it. I made sure the house would be spotless every morning after a big fight.

That's what love was like in my house.

So, instead of watching my parents explode around each other, and implode on themselves resulting in heavy binge drinking.

Retreating to my bedroom and watching old wedding shows with the door locked was the best way to come up with my own definition of what love was supposed like.

I was one of those kids that got giddy about weddings and loved to binge watch Say Yes To The Dress.

And as I got older, I started to dream of what my wedding would look like.

Since I was eight years old, I had everything planned out. All the small details and the guest list. The elegant white wedding dress. The light pink flowers adorning the tables at the reception and lining the aisle as I walked down towards the love of my life. I even went as far as to plan who I was going to marry. My best friend, Harry Styles.

I have been in love with my best friend for eight years.

Eight years I have spent pining after him and wishing for him to kiss me at least once. And for the longest time I thought he felt the same way about me.

The simple touches whenever he could get them. The longing stares across the rooms. The gleam in his eye that told me that he was feeling the same as me. Nothing would need to be spoken between us. It was like we just knew how the other felt.

So, you could imagine how it felt when I opened up my phone this morning and saw photos of him. You could practically hear the sound of my heart shattering when I saw the pictures. Two smiling faces in a field of wildflowers. And a shiny ring on his bride to be's finger. The two of them looking absolutely in love with one another.

All my dreams and plans had circled the drain and gone down the pipe to never be see again.

"Would you stop looking at them. It's only going to make you feel worse." I look up from my phone and I peel my eyes from looking at the photos for a tenth time. My best friend Mabel giving me a look that says, 'stop being mean to yourself.'

If it weren't for Mabel, I'm pretty sure I would have spiraled into the deep end by now. She's always been there to stop me from going down a dark hole. She keeps me grounded, and keeps me laughing when I'm down. But I have no idea if she can keep me from staying above water with this.

"He's getting married, Mabel," I say to her, but she already knows all about the photos and the upcoming ceremony that is taking place in a few days. The wedding I wasn't even invited to.

I don't even know if I would have gone if I were to be invited. But, I thought since Harry was my best friend, I would at least be invited to his wedding.