White Veil Occasion: short story [h.s.]

3 - summer, two years ago

STELLA

Past

H:
Can I bring my own popcorn?

I smile at the text that just popped up on my phone. I knew he was going to ask to bring his own popcorn. He has made it very clear that I don't make the right decision when it comes to popcorn selection. Apparently there is a right and wrong choice of popcorn.

Me:
Of course <3

I quickly text him back before setting my phone down on the table and fixing the bottle of alcohol one more time. I've already fixed and tweaked them six times already. I don't know why I'm stressing this much when I know that everything is going to get messed up in no time. Nothing at a party ever stays clean, but Harry said this was a good way to for me to let go and not let my disorder control me all that much.

But, that's the thing I crave control. I want to able to have control over everything in my life, so then I don't end up getting hurt or have things spiral out of my hands. I need control to make it through the day.

Harry suggested that this could be a good way for me to ease into the lifestyle of not having to control every little aspect of my life. He says it will bring me out of my comfort zone. And of course I listened to him. I mean I'm twenty two years old, it's about time I have thrown a party.

In high school, I was never one to throw a party. I didn't want anyone to show up at my house and see the mess my parents caused all the time. The broken glass shards on the floor and the glass bottles of various brands of alcohol in the fridge. And, my parents were too busy being home all the time fighting to ever have friends over anyways. That's why I spent all my time after school hanging out at Harry's house.

But, now being twenty-two and going into my senior year of college, I thought it was about time I threw a party. I have an empty house because I don't have to worry about my parents anymore seeing as they are both dead now and left the house to me to take care of.

It's time I start living.

"Stell?"

"Down in the basement!" I call out when I hear Harry say my name. His footsteps bounding down the stairs. Just the sound of him is enough to make the hairs on my arm stand up. He clears the last step and when he sees me, he smiles and my insides light up. My heart beating faster at just the sight of him.

"Stella! This looks amazing!" Harry exclaims, looking around at how I fixed up the basement for tonight. I didn't go too cheesy with the decorations. Just a few party lights strung up and the table all ready for everyone to make their own drink and go. A huge speaker in the corner that'll play music for anyone down here. A matching speaker is also upstairs for the people who will hang out up there.

"Really?" I chew on the inside of my cheek.

I've been worried that it's too much for a college party. I mean the few I've been to have been more of a grind fest and sweaty bodies everywhere. I usually left within the first thirty minutes because I couldn't stand the thought of all the people who would brush up against me in the living room or kitchen. My disorder would have gone haywire and I might have had a panic attack if anything.

At least here, I can control what goes on at my party. I'm not going to be that person who doesn't let you dance up on someone by any means. I don't care if other people do it. I can just control how I act, and of course I can prevent any messes from happening. If Harry said he would be on the lookout to make sure nothing spills and nothing gets knocked over, because he knows how hard it is for me and my urges. He wants me to remain as calm as I can. He's seen me breakdown before and I could tell it scared him.