1996 | Y.Jw

| 25 |

I had experienced the inability to fall asleep before. Even at the lab. I was used to tossing and turning back and forth in bed, getting even more tangled up in my duvet and blankets.

Eventually I had given up, laying on my back and staring straight up into the ceiling - watching the dark patterns of the wood snake its way through the darkness.

A huff of dismay escaped me as I finally attempted to pull myself out of my blankets. It was quite the struggle, but I eventually managed to get free - having had to stand up in the middle of the room to untangle myself.

I was panting slightly as I threw my duvet back on the bed and let out yet another sigh. Quickly I decided where I had to go.

I sneaked out on the hallway and quietly closed the door behind me, venturing a bit down the hallway to a room where dim light was shining from under the door and out onto the hallway.

I quietly knocked on the door, but didn't exactly get an answer. Instead I creaked it open slowly, glancing in at Sunghoon, who sat on his bed reading in a book - his reading specs sliding slightly down his nose before he had to push them up once again.

"Sunghoon?" I murmured making him immediately look up towards me, his eyes slightly wide in confusion as he looked at me.

"You good?" he questioned softly and I slowly nodded before stepping into the room and closing the door behind me, "don't you think we should find another pajamas to you than that white one? I could imagine it gives bad flashbacks," he pointed out.

"Not yet," I shook my head quietly, "it's the most familiar thing here..."

"What is it then?" he questioned and placed his bookmark in his book befor closing it and placing it on his nightstand, "do you need to talk about something?" he questioned and urged for me to come nearer.

I let out a small sigh before wandering over to his bed and just flopping down on my back across the foot-end.

"I just can't sleep," I murmured quietly, "it's as if I can't find peace and rest enough to sleep," I excused and waved it off with a gesture of my hand, "I had it at the lab too... I think it's just because of my nightmares."

"Well... what is different the nights you don't have trouble falling asleep?" he questioned casually.

"I... have something to comfort me..." I murmured, slightly embarrassed, "I normally hum this lullaby to myself, I don't know where I know it from though. Sometimes I need something to hug closely, but it isn't working today."

"So... what I'm hearing is that... the reason you can't sleep and neither of those things work is because you've been used to it being Jungwon doing those things lately," Sunghoon stated and I frowned silently, "I know he's been humming melodies at night while he still stayed here, I used to check on you two to assure you were sleeping. Plus, I think he's the one you've been hugging onto lately. Makes sense as he's the thing that is most recognizeable you've had in this house," he excused with a shrug, "I don't have a Jungwon you can borrow... but I do have my discman you can borrow... a few CDs too."

"I borrowed one from Soomin," I shook my head quietly.

"Must be a CD... Soomin doesn't have a discman," he excused with a small laugh, "she only has a small boombox to play them. Do you want to borrow my Discman?"

"How does it work?" I questioned as he got up from his bed and quickly wandered over to his desk and grabbed a thin light grey device.

"I primarily have Foo Fighters and Elton John on CDs though..." Sunghoon trailed off as he pushed a button and the lid of the device tipped open.

"Do you have any female singers?" I questioned quietly and he glanced up at me before a small smile spread on his face.

"I'll look," he assured and rushed over to a small box at the bottom of his bookshelf, "I uhm... Ahhh... I got Yeji's Fiona Apple CD, it's the newest one. Tidal. It's from this July."

"Is she good?" I questioned and he just shrugged.

"Yeji used her music to calm down... there's also Spice Girls here," he remarked with a small laugh, "I think you should take both, try and alternate between them," he excused as he wandered back to the bed and threw the device down on the bed, "do you want me to show you how to use it?"

"Please," I hummed with a small nod.

"Okay... so you press this to open the lid," Sunghoon explained and pressed the same button once again, making the lid bounce open, "you take the CD," he explained and grabbed the Fiona Apple CD and opened the plastic case, pulling out a flat circle with a hole in the middle, "the shiny side has to be down," he reminded as he put the CD in, the picture turned upwards, "close the lid," he did so and grabbed a pair of headphones and carefully placed them on my head, tugging my hair away enough for them to fit over my ears properly, "and then you press the triangle here to start the music, and then you press the two lines to pause it," he explained with a small laugh, "try it."

"The triangle," I murmured and pressed the triangle, the slim display on the discman lighting up and showing a simple text.

'01: Sleep to Dream'

I looked up at Sunghoon with a funny look before a sound echoed into my ears and I jumped slightly, almost falling off the bed and triggering a laughter from Sunghoon as he helped me steady myself again on the bed.

"So..." he trailed off and pressed the two lines on the discman, the music stopping immediately, "do you think it will do? I would offer you to sleep in here, but I think it'd be best if you learn to sleep on your own. So go back to your room, put whatever of the CDs on, you'd like, and try to get some sleep. Alright?"

"Thank you," I whispered and he immediately smiled softly before ruffling my hair carefully.

"Don't tell Soomin or she'll say that I see you as my sister," Sunghoon warned as I got up from his bead.

"I won't," I quietly assured as I rushed out of his room and back to the guest room.

I let the current CD continue playing as I got back in the guestroom, hoping that I remembered the discman for when I had to go to school tomorrow. Jungwon would no doubt find it cool, and maybe it would allow me to turn my bracelet off when at school as well.

If this worked properly it would give me a whole lot of freedom for the future.