1996 | Y.Jw

| 2.6 |

My eyes immediately squinted together once we got out of Jake's house. Hurriedly Jungwon wandered over to a car and I gave him a funny look.

"What?" he questioned in amusement as he unlocked the driver's side of the car.

"You drive?" I exclaimed at him and he let out a small laugh.

"I managed to get a driver's license over the spring," he hummed with a small nod, "come on. We're going home."

I looked at him with suspision as I slowly walked over and got in the passenger's seat. I attentively watched as Jungwon got in, buckled his seatbelt, started the car and put it in reverse. It seemed to so weird to watch him drive a car like that. In my mind Jungwon wasn't someone who drove a car.

"Are you alright?" he quietly questioned as he drove a funny way towards Soomin's house. 

"I'm fine," I hummed quietly as he hummed quietly and turned out onto the big road, we never used that road to get to Soomin's house, "Where are we going?"

"Deadwater's cliff," he excused calmly," the post office can wait till tomorrow."

I didn't say anything I just frowned at him in confusion as to why we had to go there. But yet I let him drive out to the cliff and park by the cliff. I had gotten out of the car after him. From the cliff you could see the sunset clearly, how it painted the sky in pretty pink, orange and purple hues. How the big clouds helped hide the sun behind the horizon.

"Why are we here?" I questioned quietly as I followed after Jungwon to sit on the edge of the cliff.

"I just... I needed to come here," he excused quietly, letting his legs dangle over the ledge, which I hesitated to do, but eventually did, "I used to come here daily a few months ago. When Soomin let me go out here alone. I needed the memory of it to be a bit... different."

"What memory?" I frowned quietly.

"Watchnig you get dragged away, screaming my name in desperation," he quietly admitted smiling slightly despite the sad expression on his face, "that really broke me, you know? Not that they took you away, I was sort of ready for that. But how you screamed for my help, and how I was unable to get to you. I used to come here to come to terms with it."

"Sunghoon said you were curled up and bleeding when he found you," I pointed out and he hummed quietly.

"I was," he hummed quietly, "he left out the fact that I was a crying and hysterical mess."

"What happened when we disappeared?" I questioned quietly, "everyone seemed so weird back at the basement."

"A lot..." he trailed off, "a lot happened... Sunoo blames Riki for what happened to Lin and they haven't spoken since until today. Riki began isolating himself like you saw today. Sunoo got more agressive towards everyone, very blunt, very unhappy. Soomin and Sunghoon broke up. Sunghoon and Jake fought for the entirety of March and haven't reconciled. So many more things have happened."

"What happened to you?" I questioned and he looked to me with an arched brow, "you seem off. Something happened."

"I just changed," Jungwon shrugged, "I stopped going to school everyday. I just generally stopped going out near other people. I preferred to isolate myself in my room or go to... well here."

"You hate isolation," I frowned and he shrugged quietly.

"I didn't say I was easy on myself," he shook his head making me frown before glancing towards his long sleeved shirt.

"It's too hot for you to be wearing that," I remarked and he shrugged.

I quickly got up on my knees and crawled closer towards him. Without another word I pulled down slightly in the neck of his shirt, seeing bright red marks littered across his skin, all the way around. From his sternum to his shoulderblades.

He didn't say anything when I moved to pull up his sleeves, seeing a few long scars running from either his wrist to his elbow or from his elbow to his shoulder. There weren't many and they weren't prominent, but they were noticeable if you knew they would be there.

"You've been torturing yourself," I whispered and he only hummed while pulling down the sleeves of his shirt.

Immediately I fell back to sit on my knees, my heels digging into my butt as I sat back. He didn't say anything, he barely even looked at me besides a small glance he had sent for a second. Slowly a small smile spread on his face while his thumbs reached up to dig into the corners of his eyes.

"I haven't been feeling well, alright?" Jungwon whispered quietly as his lips pulled down slightly, "a bit stressed I suppose."

"But why?" I murmured and fell to the side so my hip dug into the ground beside me, somehow also getting me closer to Jungwon.

"You're a plague you know?" he questioned with a small chuckle, a small break in his voice at the last sound, "you refused to leave my mind, no matter if I was awake or sleeping. I hated it, every second of it, and I hated you, but I didn't. I just..." he trailed off before rubbing his face in his hands, his words getting stuck in his throat as a deep breath escaped him and he looked back out to the horizon, "I blame myself for everything that happened that night. I didn't look out my window until Soomin told me the snow had melted... I just."

"I've been the reason you've been feeling bad," I murmured quietly, searching for an eye-contact he kept denying me.

"No, not exactly," he shook his head before letting out a small laugh, "I just... I don't feel good when I don't know if you're alright and when I know that I can't get to you. Do you remember when Lin told us about the symptoms of a heartbreak she had read from one of her books?"

"Sort of," I hummed with a small shrug.

"Sudden severe chest pains... shortness of breath, irregular heartbeats," Jungwon quietly listed, "Soomin told me to pull myself together before I ended up dying of heartbreak. I didn't know that was possible, but she said so... nothing was just right anymore. She got more mad when I stopped speaking."

"How did you come back?" I frowned at him, "get normal?"

"I didn't, you just saw," he chuckled quietly and patted his arms softly, "I just pretended to be alright..." he murmured and I noticed how his eyes glaced over, "I uhm..." he murmured before clearing his throat, "I just... and now you're back," he whispered as his voice became strained, clearly fighting back a sob.

I didn't say anything before I reached over and pulled him into me. Immediately he began shaking uncontrollably and a few sobs left him. It was as if he was crying for the first time since Sunghoon had found him laying in the exact spot we now sat together.