Trigger Warning:
This chapter contains violence and domestic abuse that may be harmful and traumatizing to some audiences.
Standing behind the huge doors of their closet, she hid there as she tried to keep her balance. She was both shaking and crying. She wanted her way out but it was clear to her when her mother told her not to make a sound or to make her presence known. She held her mouth to stop herself from making a noise.
She then closed her eyes and gently patted her shoulders while her tears were rounding down her cheeks.
It's okay, Ye Jin. It's okay.
She repeated those words over and over.
Until she heard another loud bang. Along with the frightening sound was the cry of her mother who was begging for her life.
"Please do not do this to me. I am sorry..."
The six-year-old girl was both dumbfounded and scared of the strange banging sound and her mother's cries. Slowly and quietly, she pushed the door open to peek. She wanted to see the realities behind the doors.
It was a little too late for regret. To her, it was an awful sight to see how dysfunctional her family was. Unlike those seen on the television, her family was way beyond normal. Or maybe, she thought, those on the television were never the normal.
She grew up into a very domestically abusive family. She had been exposed to a resilient mother who takes every punch like it is any kind of love and to a violent father who uses his fists to express his love.
She saw her mother, her very poor mother, lying on the floor. Her face was covered with blood and her eyes were swollen. She looked way too far from her usual lovely self.
On the other hand, her father was standing tall and loading his gun. That very clicking sound scared the hell out of her.
"Please, I have been at fault. I will never do it again," her mother begged for mercy, for her life and for the life of her daughter. She tried her best to kneel down and grip the legs of her batterer. But she failed as she was wounded and frail.
"I guess you need to learn a bit more lesson," that's when her very cruel father kicked her hard aimed at her mother.
But before he could shoot straight at her, the little girl jumped out of the closet to stop her father, causing the wooden floors of the room she used to call home to get shot.
His squinted his eyes. He was fuming mad when he saw little Ye Jin running towards her badly beaten mother. She wrapped her little arms around her while she cried her heart out. It was yet another episode of sleepless and traumatic night for her.
It was a relief when he turned his back and leave them behind. It felt like breathing air after living in the depths of the ocean.
At six, she wanted to ask her mother on why she allows him to do all these cruel things to her.
At six, she wondered if hurting someone means you love them.
"Why does he keep hurting you?" She carefully traced all the wounds on her mother's face.
"Every girl deserves a good beating when she does something wrong," her mother embraced her and consoled her desperate child. "That's why you have to grow up to be a better person than me so you won't have to be hurt."
She was too young to understand what her mother meant. She was barely six when she saw the dark side of family and romantic relationships.
How could a single mistake result to abuse?
Studies show that child abuse, domestic violation or combination of both increases a child's risk for internalizing and externalizing outcomes. Girls, who witness their mothers being abused by the man of the family, tend to think that violence is normal and that it forms part of a typical family setup. Meanwhile, boys, who often see their fathers domestically abusing their mothers, tend to think that hurting others are justifiable acts.
Children, in general, who witness violence inside their household, takes greater risk of being violent and accepting violence in their future relationships.
***
Times have changed.
But some circumstances stayed the same.
On her right hand was a gun. Her hands were shaking as she aimed the gun to him.
"Move an inch and I'll shoot you in the head," she tried to sound as brave as possible when actually, she was drowning in fear.
"You think you can pull the trigger?" he evil smiled because he knew she wasn't the kind to commit a crime. He smiled because he thought that without him, she is nothing.
"Don't..." her tears started to flood "...you dare to come close. I refuse to be your victim."
He took a step forward and still, she didn't shoot.
And another step. She still didn't shoot.
Followed by another.
Until they were only an arms-length apart and she lost her chance.
She wanted to kill him at that very instant but she could not find the courage to escape or to defend herself.
In a swift movement, tables have turned. He was able to grab the gun away from her and pulled out a dagger which he had been hiding inside his pocket. His right hand was holding the gun while directing the muzzle on her forehead. While his left hand was holding the knife, poking her body.
"If you refuse to be a victim, then let's make you the bad one in this fairytale."
Then everything turned black.
And when she regained her consciousness, their eyes met. He was lying on the floor, soaked in his own blood.
She stood up, only to know that the gun was right next to her hand. She could barely remember what happened. But seeing him on the floor made her think that it was a blessing for her to escape and free herself.
She knew she was running out of time but then she still managed to glance at him.
Just like how she remembered him, he was smiling... without any signs of remorse.
She looked away and ran, pretending that she never dreamed of living their lives in fairytale together.
x- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -x
We do not tolerate any form of abuse.
If you know someone who is a victim of abuse or any form of violence, kindly reach out to these contact details:
Trunkline: +632 723 0401
AVAWCD Local Number: 6962
ATIPD Office: 6963
ICAC Office: +632 534 7338
Aleng Pulis Hotline: +63 919 777 7377 or +63 966 725 5961
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Twitter: @wcpcdidmpnp
Email: alengpuliswcpc.didm@pnp.gov.ph
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Sanctuary of the Forgotten
FanficA night of chance encounter suddenly opens the forbidden doors of the past. Their deepest secrets are revealed; the darkest truths are freed. Letting her in to that sanctuary may be a blessing or a catastrophe.
