Flower in the Flame (The Scattered Series - Book #1)

Chapter Five

5 | Nadia Spencer

I take great pride in my ability to look after myself. I think it's a trait everyone should have, the ability to sharpen your words so that they sink harshly into someone's gut or the power that can be driven into one fist if you pack your whole weight into the punch.

And yet, despite the confidence I have in myself, I feel as though I am stuck in a winding maze. No matter where I turn, I always end up back where I began, wishing I could do something about my relationship. I've learned by now that I deserve so much more than Carter, but I feel chained to him. There's no clear way out for me.

Maybe I have my childhood to blame for the way I am feckless in this situation. Maybe I fear Carter becoming like Dan Spencer, my mother's lover, and so all I can do is tiptoe around him and hope he will remain kind. 

My boyfriend did not join me in bed last night, clearly he is bitter that I told Billie Joe about what he's like at home.

It's morning, a slant of sunlight has crept through the gap in the curtains and dapples the brown carpet. Maybe no one else is awake, because it's quiet, unnervingly quiet.

Just as I'm getting up do I hear loud vocals from downstairs. "I'm not going to tell you again, you ass. Leave." Says Carter. My boyfriend has never been the most patient. And then a voice that is deeper than Carter's but not as deep as Billie's bites to the harsh words just spoken, "absolutely not, freak show. Go and get Nadia."

Benjamin Grover.

"I'm sorry," I can picture Carter's brows pinched in confusion, his blonde hair a mess from his sleep, "but who are you?" I cannot tell if that was spoken out of genuine curiosity or malice.

I perch on the edge of the bed, listening to the exchange. I'm sure I've told Carter of Ben before, after all, the idiot is my best friend. For all his annoying habits, irritatingly long lashes and beautifully curved mouth, I love the moron. Ben Grover is a beauty rarely seen in men, that's how we became friends. I asked him what he uses on his lashes, he returned the single word 'tears' almost immediately, and since then we became best of friends. 

"You haven't heard of me? Nads didn't mention a boy with a stunning face and a banging body?" Somehow, Ben always picks the worst thing to say in any situation. "I'll give you a clue. First name starts with a 'B' and ends with 'en'."

It falls silent for a while. Has Carter knocked him out? Just as I'm getting up to make sure everything is okay, Ben speaks, "Aw, I can almost hear the tiny cogs and gears in your brain turning." The door slams shut.

Billie comes from his own bedroom just as I do. He is shirtless, his torso inked in pretty colours, the words be silently drawn sprawled across his chest. He looks tired, his dark hair hangs in a mess, eyes rimmed with dark circles and there's a few fines lines embedded into his cheek from where he's laid against his pillow.

His jaw is peppered with stubble.

Once I meet his eyes, I wish I hadn't. He's staring at me, his brows rose slightly, regarding me with the kind of concentration one would pay to something they might never see again. And then his gaze dips, reminding me I'd shucked off my plaid pyjamas in the night and swapped them for a pair of Carter's clean boxers. "You look..." He swallows hard and I watch the roll of his throat. Billie looks away, focusing on the window beside us.

A bird is perched on the windowsill outside, mussing it's feathers with it's orange beak.

His door opens.

"Tired." He quickly finishes his sentence and brushes past me to the bathroom as Madeline steps out their room. She looks puzzled for a moment, angling her head to the one side. "Nadia," Her smile is so obviously forced, "Good morning."