Flower in the Flame (The Scattered Series - Book #1)

Chapter Nineteen

19 | Nadia Spencer

Benjamin Grover's shower has no water pressure. Everything about this man's house makes me miss the Armstrong's home even more. Where Billie's house is spotless, Ben's is not. Part of me misses Billie Joe, too, a stupid part of me which will be extinguished tonight. Without a doubt, he will do something to fuck this up tonight, and that'll make up my mind.

Where he takes me alone will decide whether he cares or not, and I have a feeling he has a fancy restaurant planned – something I have little care for. Being with Carter taught me that money means nothing, after every argument we ended up at some posh restaurant eating dishes I couldn't even pronounce. It made me think he cared, when in reality he didn't – we had enough money to eat out like that, so it wasn't a struggle, and anyone with money can take their girl to a restaurant and buy her the most expensive meal on the menu.

I lather up my lavender shampoo into my hair and hum quietly to myself. Somewhere online I read about how calming lavender is, and now it's everywhere. It started with a spray for my pillow to fill the absence Billie left, now all my shower products smell of lavender. I feel like an addict or something – hell, I can't sleep without that damn spray anymore.

Suds gather around my feet as I wash the shampoo from my hair, and I try to focus on the way the water beats down the bubbles until they're nothing. I don't think about Billie Joe. I don't think of his stupid hair or his stupid voice or his stupid face.

However hard it is for me to admit, I miss that stupid asshole and I'm beginning to think I overreacted. Yeah, collecting drugs for someone is a pretty shitty thing to do, and yeah, he directly put me in danger with his stupidity but that night he answered all my questions with nothing but truth and without a moment of hesitation.

One things for sure, he cares. He's shown that again and again with every smile and little act of affection.

I hope he misses me like I miss him.

Out the shower, I wrap a towel around myself and grab my toothbrush. My attention span struggles when I'm brushing my teeth, so I have to prop up my phone with a two-minute timer to keep my feet planted and toothbrush in hand.

Only a minute into my brushing, the doorbell rings. He's early. Why the hell is he early? I didn't think he was that eager to take me out on a date, in fact, I thought he would be dreading it. My attitude hasn't exactly been warm and welcoming.

Like a child, I pretend I didn't hear the door and focus on the task at hand. Ben can get the door, even though he's pissed that I've even considered this date. He's never been the type to complain, that's what I like about him most – Benjamin Grover is the most easy-going, laid-back man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He's rarely wound taut with stress, so hearing him complain about agreeing to this date was weird, and irritating. I wish I could tell Ben that he's right, but he doesn't know Billie Joe like I know him. It seems the very least I can give him is a second chance.

Carter got a million second chances, I'm sure I can spare Billie just one – though that doesn't mean I won't make him work for this.

In my bedroom, which barely leaves space to walk, I dig through the clothes in a small plastic box beside my single bed. Living here isn't ideal, Ben barely has space for himself, let alone me, but we make it work.

Though I take care when I slide the dress over my hips until the thin straps sit on my shoulders, and I'm delicate in the way I brush the blush over the top of my nose and cheeks, there's still an element of haste to my actions. I don't want to keep him waiting for too long.

Downstairs, Billie is sat awkwardly beside Ben on the couch, his eyes fixed on the TV as though he's scared to glance in Ben's direction. And then I catch the red abrasion on Billie's jaw, which is accompanied by a slight swelling.