The Secret Legacy of Pan - English Translation

Chapter Six

CHANGEABLE

When I dashed into the classroom last minute on Monday morning, I was met with the same view as every other day last week: the Graces were sitting on my desk, pretty close to the new guy. I had forgotten how good he looked over the weekend. Today, Lee wore a blue shirt, on which the top buttons were unbuttoned to show off his sculpted chest. His hair was so thick and tousled again that it covered the top half of his ears. He was cheerfully chatting with Felicity.

Mr Selfridge would arrive at any moment, so I quickly went over to Felicity's desk and sat down.

"Oh God, it stinks", Jack Roberts shouted behind me.

Fuck. Did I really have to endure his stupid mouth for the next two hours? No, apparently not, because he curtly packed his bag and shooed Nicole away from her seat beside Ruby, who's desk stood before Lee's and my old one.

Mr Selfridge entered the classroom and ignored the students like usual. He put his bag on his desk and turned to the blackboard to write down some binomial formula. I hurriedly rummaged for my notebook and pencil case to try to follow the quick tempo. In that moment the chair beside me became occupied. I looked at Lee in surprise.

"Hey, we sit together, right?", he explained with a charming smile. Behind him, I could see the bewildered faces of the other students. "Ignore them. That's what I do", Lee whispered and began copying the blackboard.

I stared at him in the same manner as the others, then I remembered my theory on his girlfriend and the annoying intrusiveness and smiled back kindly. He winked at me, and I had the feeling we were allies – at least for the next two hours.

It really was quite pleasant to be around Lee. He was funny, friendly, and helpful. So it was a spontaneous thing to invite him to sit with us in the cafeteria for lunch. In the same moment, Felicity appeared, and I realized how outrageous my offer had been. Why would he sit with us losers when the Star Club was fawning over him?

"Lee, darling, are you coming?"

I did not expect an answer, but rather thought he would join her immediately. Therefore, it took me a moment to realize what he was saying.

"No, thanks. Felicity Morgan just asked me if I wanted to sit with them today. I'll see you in English at one-thirty." With that, he stood up, took me by the arm and lead me out of the biology classroom. I felt the soft electric shock and stumbled along wordlessly. Just before we reached the cafeteria, the smell of food brought me back to reality.

"Er, did you really just reject Felicity to sit with us losers?" The look he gave me was, for the first time, not friendly or indulgent, but disapproving.

"If you call yourself a loser, you can't expect that other people will accept you."

I swallowed and felt like I had been rebuked. "I'm not the one calling myself that, the others are."

"And you adapt it, just like that?" I did not know what to say to that. "Do you think of yourself as a loser?", he asked.

"No, of course not. I didn't call myself one, either. But I didn't have a choice."

"That's not true", Lee said decidedly. "You always have a choice."

I raised a sneering eyebrow. He was one to talk. With the looks of a supermodel, it was easy for him to pretend like there always was a way out. I swallowed that answer and went to stand in the lunch line with my tray. Today's menu was Irish Stew again – like almost every Monday. I hated Irish Stew.

I gave Lee, who was standing behind me, a miserable look. "I understand if you would rather eat with the Star Club outside of school." Because defiance was of little use in the cafeteria, I was about to put the plate that was given to me on the tray, but Lee held me by the wrist. Another shock trembled through me. Lee let me go immediately. I knew he had felt it too. But he was not looking at me, he was looking at the lunch lady.