Toxic Delights

01

ciao, de Alcazar

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Memento Mori. Remember you must die.

One of the phrases I lived by every day. For most, it is a reminder that we are all going to die; a reminder that death is inevitable; a reflection of mortality.

It always made me think of the dead, mourning, gravestones of women draped over them in grief, a blackness, shadows, dark cathedrals, grief, pain, and all pretty negative things.

Every time I think about that phrase, I see a darkened ancient cathedral with towering ceilings hidden in the darkness and silence. A table full of burning candles — illuminating the stone wall behind them. Everything is hushed and no one is around but me. The stone floor is cold but the heat from the candles is warm and loving.

"Hindi ka pa mamamatay, Tori, ikalma mo!"

"I almost did!" sigaw ko pabalik sa secretary kong si Iver na hawak ang cold compress.

Gusto kong ibato sa kanya ang vase sa bedside table. Kung hindi lang masakit ang balikat ko, kanina pa 'to tulog!

"Eh bakit kasi tumalon ka? Pwede namang gumamit ng hagdan?!"

"Estupido!" I snarled at him. "Siguradong bago pa ako makababa, malamang tustado na ako!"

"Oh ba't galit ka? Natusta ka ba? Buhay ka pa naman!"

Ang hayop na ito! Dinampot ko ang cellphone at malakas na ibinato sa kanya. Umiwas siya. I howled when my shoulder ached even more!

"Ikalma mo nga! Hindi ako kalaban mo rito, hoy! I-save mo 'yang anger issues mo kay Valentin!"

"Kapag hindi ka tumahimik uunahin kita," mariin kong banta na nagpatameme sa kanya. Gan'yan dapat!

Sumandal ako sa headrest ng kama. Fuck this mere stupid joint! Hindi ko naman inutusang sumakit, sumasakit! This was my damn adrenaline's fault. I jumped on the stairs before my car exploded, not literally from the top then dropped on the ground, okay? A little bit of parkour helped me. Minalas lang at tumama ang kanang balikat ko sa bakal dahil sa pagmamadali.

"Have you called Arsen?" I asked while applying the ice pack.

"Oo. They deleted all the CCTV footage. They also erased everything that involves you in that car. Pati plaka at model, sinigurado nilang hindi makukuha. You don't have to worry about it."

That earned a sigh-of-relief from me. At least my men never really disappoint. They worked faster than Shazam.

"Is there any casualty?"

"Well, luck was with you today!" natatawang aniya. "No one was harmed. May ilang danyos pero inaasikaso na nila Nathan ang tungkol doon. Estimated twenty million ang babayaran. Kaya mo naman, hindi ba?"

There was a twinge of teasing in his voice that made me scoff. Kelan ko ba hindi kinaya?

"How about the media? Anong ipinapalabas sa balita?"