Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I finish cleaning up from dinner, leaving Gale to her own devices. I know she needs space from me, even if it's only to get her emotions in check. She's pushing hard to find out what is going on, hard enough that a simple conversation is still leading back to what the issue actually is, and me doing everything in my power to stay mum to her about it. I hate myself for doing this to her. I hate seeing her like this.

I haven't heart as much as a peep from her by the time I am done cleaning up dinner. Enough time has passed that I am confident I can swallow my pride and go check on her. I want to apologize for my harsh tone. I was wrong for snapping at her, and I am sick just knowing that I hurt her, due to my own issues. There is no doubt in my mind that anything that she is saying or asking is being done out of concern and love for me. I have never doubted once how Gale feels about me, and exactly what she would do for me.However, I will not let her suffer the cost of what helping me, being there for me would do to her and her dreams. I just need to get through the next two days, and then my problems will no longer be hers.

The light in the bedroom is dark when I get to our bedroom door. My ear is at the door for a moment listening for any noise beyond the door. The door creaks when I open it, and I see Gale, faced towards the window, blankets covering her up to her neck. "Gale?" I whisper padding further into the room.

I turn on the light next to the nightstand to get a better view of Gale. Just by her body language, I know that she is still awake. Without a word, I quickly strip myself of my clothes, before slipping into our bed. Instinctively, I go to wrap my arms around Gale, realizing she as well is naked beneath the sheets. She recoils at my gesture, pulling away, trying to take the blankets with her.

In a blink I am reaching out to her again, my lips buried in her hair at her ear. "Baby, come on, I'm sorry, really," I whisper, guilt still surrounding me. Without a fight from her, I pull her close to me. Her continued silence kills me, in between the soft sniffles she is shedding. "I'm sorry," I try again. "I didn't mean to snap like that."

Gale says nothing to me. "Come on Baby, please forgive me. I hate myself for snapping at you and hurting you. Talk to me, please." I lean down and kiss her bare shoulder before rubbing it softly, and trying to pull her towards me. My mouth moves with scattered kisses up her shoulder and onto her neck. Her body tightens in anticipation, and she lets a shiver unwillingly slip. She is going to make this hard for me as she says nothing at my calculated gestures. Her silence only a confirming reminder to me how unguarded she can be by my words. I push my hand under the sheet and grab onto her breast. I squeeze once before running my hand smoothly down the side of her body. She recoils again before sighing. Yet, she still refuses to turn and look at me.

"I'm sorry," I repeat, as moves down the length of her body. "I let my frustrations get the better of me. You didn't deserve that. I just can't, not yet. I promise you though, one day you'll understand, it will be clear, I promise. Can you please just trust in that, and trust in the time that I am asking for? Please just be patient with this, with me." I kiss bare shoulder once again, bringing my nose down to soak her in. "Trust that I love you and I'll never stop and that I will be okay, everything will be okay. Please, Baby."

She exhales sharply, finally turning around to face me. Her eyes are bloodshot, and glazed over from crying. Her lips are swollen. My thumb moves to the corner of her eye, ready to catch the falling tear. "Don't cry, Baby, please. Your tears hurt more than myown pain and frustrations. Be patient with me." I inwardly shake my head. Her tears do hurt than any of my own pain, and I further detest myself for the many tears she will shed for me for who knows how long in just a couple days. Just imagining her tears, her hurt, especially when I am so far away from her and can do nothing to fix them will make my pain only greater.