Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

Chapter 1

It is day fifty-five here in New York City, hour 17, and minute 7. I sigh, at the lingering tightness in my chest, that hasn't gone away since we left Woodsboro. It's been a huge struggle for me to get through most days. Some days are harder than others to even breathe, especially when I've had a rough night, or lack of sleep, due to my anxiety and nightmares about the city. There have been a number of times that I've crawled into the corner of our living room alone, and cried because of the anxiety. I rarely leave the apartment because of the paralyzing anxiety I feel.

I've held my emotions at bay for the most part, keeping them bottled, as I try to get through day to day. I keep trying to tell myself that it is going to get better, that I have her, and that is all that matters, she is all that I need. She makes it worth it all. Yet, it does little to settle my anxiety. She is so happy here. She is thriving, and loving every minute of life. Day after day, she comes home and has this radiant glow, excited spirit about her that I haven't seen in a long time. Everything she has ever wanted is in the palm of her hands, and I couldn't be happier for her. She deserves this, and all that comes with it. It's been her dream, and now she has it. She's happier than she's been in a long time.

After receiving fulfillment, praise and even a big following with the revival of her Ghost Face book series, due to the most recent movie that came out based on the last murder spree a few years ago, her pure joy and happiness was through the sky. However, it slowly began to diminish as time passed again. She rode on that high of success as long as she could. But as time progressed and it was out for a while, the attention, accolades slowed. Gale once again went back to just going through the motions, having no fire or a driven purpose.

With the high that she is now on with this job, how truly happy she is, I cannot bare to burden her with what is going on in my head, my feelings and how many panic attacks I've had here since we've arrived. I don't want to drag her down by my sadness and my needs. I have a hard time even going for a walk outside during peak hours of the city, in fear of having some kind of panic attack. If I go out, it is early in the morning, or extremely late at night, even then I prefer not to. Most of my outside time is spent on our balcony.

I don't want to ruin how happy she is, with my problems, and the tough time I am having here. I am a pathetic coward. She gave me so many years in Woodsboro. She was only there in Woodsboro for me, to be with me, and support me. She sacrificed so much for us to be together. It was a sacrifice that cost her that lifelong dream. She wasn't looking for this opportunity. It came to her, and had this job not fell in her lap, I am almost certain; we would still be in Woodsboro.

I close my eyes, as I take the printed piece of paper off the printer. I sigh, running my hand through my hair, before passing my hand over my face. It is becoming more real with each second. This is the hardest thing I will ever have to do, and I don't want to do it, but I know that I must. Gale deserves to be happy, deserves to have her dreams, and not worry about me and my issues. It's all I have ever wanted for her. The idea of leaving her, never being able to touch her again, tortures every part of my soul. I've always wanted her, in whatever capacity I could have her, whatever she wanted to give me. She gave me an inch, but I took a mile from her. I couldn't help myself.

After everything, we have been through, all she has been through and given up for me, I knew I owed it to her, to us, to try this opportunity. I thought that maybe, it would be different, then my worst fears. We've been to New York and Los Angeles before, but it's never been permanent, a few days here and there, when interviews fell into her lap, or guest speaking opportunities. The city didn't seem so bad, however, it helped to know that these trips were onlytemporary, which made them a little more bearable, but that soon enough we'd go back home, back to Woodsboro.