Hangang In The Autumn | Taekook

14. Little Bliss

"Jagiya~

How have you been? I know, it's been a while? Did I miss you? Oh, heaven. You don't even know how much."

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Taehyung can feel the sadness in that voice. But just like Jooan, the voice was masquerading a lot. He wonders how they both learned to facade their emotions, their sorrows, their heartbreaks from the world, too beautiful behind their masked smiles. Don't they feel tired? angry? It's not even their fault that things are out of control, still, they had to face the consequences.

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"Do you ever feel tired after a long working day?
Ever wanted one to lean on and just listen to you...?
Someone who would look at you as if you're a miracle while you ramble about the exhausting day?"

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Taehyung heard Jeongguk whispering. The voice was a bit muffled, heavy yet the deepness was still making him shiver. It was as if Jeongguk was lying on the bed while recording that. His voice was lowering softly, the weariness clear in them and Taehyung wondered. What even happened in the meantime? Did he miss something? He wanted to know.

But he couldn't. There will never be a Jeongguk where Taehyung is. The thought made his heart squeeze. Why would it all turn out like this? If they didn't even mean to meet or be together, then why was he here?

Only him and not Jeongguk. Why did their lives entangle? He was too dipped in thoughts when Jeongguk brought him back with his bittersweet whisper.

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"I know I'm here but it all feels so foreign... As if this place is not even where I'm supposed to be... As if this is not where I belong. I just..."

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I understand.

Taehyung wanted to say. He wanted to caress the hair of the man, while softly looking at his face and saying those words. He can relate, he can feel Jeongguk. But then again, it's only him. The feelings were not even meant to be there in him. Taehyung sighed when Jeongguk took a pause, then the voice echoed in the room again.

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"I went to meet you today. You were busy wrapping the lilies for that lady. I felt relieved after seeing you, seriously. You looked ethereal when you tugged one of those white lilies on that little girl's hair. Oh, when she thanked you and you blushed, like a red rose...

At that sight, I could feel my heart smiling at you, Taehyung... "

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Taehyung? That's him. A lot of people called his name, a lot addressed him as Taehyung. But no one felt like this. No one calling him his name felt like the rush of emotions, the nerve-wracking bliss, yet sophisticated. Taehyung could feel his heartbeat and suddenly, he was afraid of the night, the silence, and the morning yet to come.