Memories

Part 3

While searching for some books and arranging some, they kept the conversation going, almost like they had known each other for years. Strange. Y/N noticed they had many common interests, even had some debates over some characters, both defending the ones they love. Again it seemed as if she had been having those debates for forever. Again, strange. By now, she was a little sure that she knew him, but just doesn't remember. Maybe getting to know him more may help?

Currently, they are discussing their previous topic, Atonement by Ian McEwan. Agreeing on most of the things in the book until,

"Briony was a child."

"She was old enough to understand what she did. Even Robbie said, "How old do you have to be to know the difference between right and wrong?"

"It was anger."

"It was a thought out thing as revealed in the end, meaning, Briony herself thought that", Y/N thought she had won the argument.

"So she tried to atone it, hence the name," Ben prompted.

"Doesn't change much. She didn't see Robbie that day, should not have ventured in Cee's business and if she felt like anything was going wrong, could've talked about it to Cecillia. At least the ending would have been happy then."

"Lovers survive and flourish, they got eternity in the afterlife."

"Doesn't change the fact that she did wrong, she tried yes, but when she knew it was Marshall, she didn't do anything."

"It was too late."

"Apparently not late enough," Y/N sighed and decided to drop the topic. Ben agreed, since he knew this debate was going nowhere, having had it before.

They found a nice place and sat down talking, a little hushed, since it was after all...a library. Y/N asking him questions, Ben answering them eagerly, hoping with each that she would remember him. That wasn't working in his favor and with each stop, his hope declined more and more. But he was not ready to give up. He will never be. Not when it comes to her.

Suddenly, Y/N remembered what he said about his job, "Hey, you told me you're an actor, right?"

Ben hummed.

"So, anything I might have seen?" She was eager to find out where she knew him from.

Ben went in deep thought on that, keeping his finger on his chin and all. "I can't say, you didn't tell me a movie genre or anything."

"There is nothing specific actually."

"Not even romance?" Because I remember you secretly being a hopeless romantic, especially after all the books and fanfics you read, he didn't say.

"Sometimes. I keep out of sappy stuff mostly."

"It's not all sappy, some are nice."

"Some are, yes."

"Okay, have you ever seen Chronicles of Narnia? Or maybe the Punisher?"

"I started it. Not seen much, on the second episode, haven't seen it all yet. Last couple of days were busy, with Tom. He always insisted on going out when I was about to start."

"I'm from that one." That was wildly suspicious. But Tom seemed wary of him before. Did he know?

"Oh. oh. So you're the bad guy?" she raised her eyebrow.

"I'm not telling you anything," he retorted.

"Fine," she huffed and pouted. That was cute.

Y/N's eyes lit up in recognition, "Wait, you're Prince Cat...or something? Sorry, my memory is a little fuzzy."

Ben let out a full blown belly laugh, "If you mean, Prince Caspian, then yes and no worries."

"Yes, Caspian," she was almost at the edge of her seat. Wait, so that was it? "I guess that's why you seemed familiar," she let out a sigh, sadness blooming in her eyes and sunk back in her chair.

He was confused over her reaction, though sad himself. "It's alright, I'm actually glad you didn't."

"No no, I was sad because I recognized you," seeing his furrowed eyebrows, she contemplated her options which were, telling a person she had known not even a whole day, her whatever life story she remembers or, change the topic.

He was easy to talk to though, hadn't given her a single reason to distrust him, was patient, plus, bonus point, Tom seemed to despise him. Oh, riling Tom up even more would be great. Maybe he knew him and it was seeing them together, talking and laughing that riled him up, so maybe she and Ben knew each other and Tom didn't want her—or them, knowing it. But why? Tom had no reason to. But again, she can't say.

Y/N finally decided to tell him. What's the worst that could happen? Maybe he may know her, otherwise she remembers some self defence. Just hoped she did not have to use it.

"Okay, so this may sound weird...heck it is weird-"

"I've witnessed enough weird stuff, doesn't even seem weird anymore." He felt like she was going to tell him something secret and important and hence felt like he should encourage her, not in a pressing way, just giving a natural push.

"Well...yeah that can be said. Alright where was I? Oh right, weird," chuckling to herself. "You see, when I um...first..well when we first talked, I felt like I recognised you, you know? That fucking strong feeling that sometimes happens when you're trying to recognise a song you haven't heard in long, but you know it...just don't remember it...I'm sure you must have had that."

Seeing him let out a little nod, she sighed and continued, "So I uh..I got that feeling, but it's weird because I have never met you and when we talked, the feeling became stronger. And— And then the movies you mentioned and when I recognised you from there, I realized that it was that feeling of recognition and not what I hoped it to be." She was surprised herself about how much she was telling him, making the feeling become more firm.

"And— And now I'm telling you all this and I'm not the most open person, like I'd rather avoid but with you it came natural, making me feel that it wasn't just a simple recognition. And then Tom came and the look was making me think that we do know each other but he doesn't want me finding out. I was just hoping..." she trailed off, not meeting his gorgeous dark brown eyes.

Ben was surprised, he did not know that she was having such a debate within herself and he usually knew what she was feeling. This is more serious than he thought. Should he tell her? He left that debate for later and prompted her to finish, "What—", he cleared his throat feeling a little choked up, "What were you hoping for?" Please let it be what he thinks it is! Please!

"That I may know you from somewhere else. Actually I— I lost my memories. I can only remember stuff from an year ago, maximum and I'm trying, I'm trying so fucking hard to remeber my life or how I lost them, but my mind just isn't cooperating," she choked back a sob.

Ben took her hands in his and started rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb in a soothing way but knew not to interrupt. He waited patiently until she was ready to say again. He knew that if she began opening up, she would finish and that was what he desperately needed her to do. Open up to him. Trust him again. That's why he didn't say anything to her before, just kept an eye on her, not in a creepy way of course. His fear of her driving her away always got the best of him. He was glad he fought the fear this time. Didn't know how much longer he could keep it all in.

He was brought out of his thoughts when she gripped his hands tightly and began speaking again, "I've been trying to find my family too...or friends, just someone I know to get clear on what happened to me and who I am. That's why when you felt familiar I was overjoyed...but then," she did not say any further.

Ben understood, there was no reason to complete the sentence anyway. He smiled a little, it was an unconscious smile. He was just about to tell her the truth but a question lingered in his mind.