Unconventional

19

"You said you were going to bed" Tom said softly, clearly still happy to see him but confused
"And you said you weren't gonna cry, but I can see you have been." I shuffled in quite shyly behind Jack, not expecting the same excited expression from Tom
"And you brought lexi?"
"She has something to show you." He reached his hand behind him and I took it without a second thought "Cmon sweetheart." He tugged my arm and I let him pull me infront of him, still gripping the gift in my hands "Lex wants to show you the gift that dom got her." He put a hand on each shoulder and gently squeezed them to show he was there for me "go on. He'll like it don't worry." Tom had been watching us interact and seemed quite surprised by it all. I walked over to him but not before Jack ruffled my hair again making me chuckle "I'm gonna go to bed but I'm just in Tom's room if you need me yeah?" I turned back around and nodded
"Night Jack."
"Night to you too." He smiled softly at me and offered a hug. I walked back over and hugged him briefly "And you baby." He said to tom whilst still holding me. He let go soon after and kissed his hand and gently touched my cheek. My best guess was he didn't want to overstep a boundary and ruin the small progress in the relationship between the pair of us. Then he finally made his way out of the room and up the stairs. I was still facing the door after he'd left
"You gonna show me that gift?"
"Are you gonna wanna talk about what he just did?"
"No. You're relationship with Jack has nothing to do with me. But he said you wanted to show me something." I turned around and nodded "Come here then."
"Where?"
"Here." He patted the spot beside him on the sofa and I shook my head, making him sigh and pat his lap
"Don't do that Tommy. It-"
"Don't worry darlin. I'm not disappointed. Just thought you'd not wanna be babied. You can come sit wherever you want. I just wanna see that." I walked over and sat down on the sofa despite shaking my head earlier. He didn't bring it up though and instead took the gift from my hands to look "It's me and you." He said softly, smiling at the photo "And little lily of course. All my babies in one picture."
"He wrote on the back of it." He turned the frame over and saw the wooden part had been written on
"Forever family." He read out "I thought he hated me." He chuckled as if he was trying to laugh it off. It only made me feel bad because clearly the feelings of guilt had never gone away "Love that picture. The way she's sleeping so soundly with us is cute. I have never seen it before though." The picture in the frame was me tom and lily. Lily was fast asleep on my chest and I was leaning against tom, all of us sleeping too. We were in Tom's bed and there was a little storybook on Tom's chest that he'd been reading to lily. I remember the moment but I had no clue the photo had been taken until two days later when I got it as a gift off dom.
"Are you crying?" He shook his head but a tear falling onto the glass of the frame he'd now flipped over told me otherwise "Tommy are you okay?"
"You lied right?"
"What?"
"When you said about me being like a parent. That you don't need me. That was a lie right?"
"Massive one." He nodded, wiping his eyes "Now cmon. Lock the door on your room and ill cover for you tomorrow morning. Dom usually gets back for around six when he's out all night." He nodded but I could just tell something was playing on his mind "What's up Tommy?"
"I wanna step up for lex, but I wanted to ask you first." I was a little taken aback by the prospect, then it made me tear up "Dont cry, like I said it's up to you, if you're not ready I can wait." I shook my head
"You're getting your lil family." I said, trying my hardest not to cry but clearly failing miserably
"Awe lex. Cmere princess, getting all soppy about it." I hugged him and he held me to him for as long as I needed "I didn't think you'd be so happy for me to do that."
"Of course I am. You're gonna be such a good stepdad. Gonna raise her so well and she's gonna be fucking spoiled. And her and lily are..." I trailed off when I realised what stepping up for lex actually meant. He'd lose that bond with lily. I went quiet and instead just let him hold me in silence. It was as though the revelation had shocked the words out of me as well as the tears
"You're never going to lose anything." I nodded "Don't nod at me lexi. I know full well you're scared of losing me. And of lily losing me too. But it's not like that."
"Did you ask his wife if its okay?"
"We all discussed it. I promised I'd stay. It's been a while of us being together and we settled on the decision about a week or so ago. But I was waiting to sit you down and explain the whole thing to you."
"So you would've had a whole secret little family and not told me?"
"Well not for long obviously, you'd have been the first I told but I didn't wanna make a big deal of it." I got up from him so I could argue whilst looking at his face
"You wanted to step up for her but you weren't even telling me what was going on. You were gonna keep it secret."
"Yes but-"
"You were going to keep it a secret weren't you! Don't fucking lie to me!"
"Yes!" He yelled back, making me slump back into the sofa and get a little scared at the way he yelled "I was going to keep it a fucking secret because every goddamn thing doesn't have to revolve around you!"
"But you wanted me to approve." I whimpered
"Yeah? Well I'm done with that! You don't know how hard this fucking is for me lexi and you're making it all about you!" He stood up and started pacing the living room "How I step up for MY boyfriend and HIS child has fuck all to do with you! Understood?" I nodded, desperate for him to calm down and make everything okay "Lexi I said do you fucking understand!" I jumped
"I get it." I whimpered again, this time he noticed I was scared "But its okay though? Right?" I could see him thinking it over in his head whilst watching how I was acting "Right Tommy?"
"I'm sorry for yelling ok?" I nodded "I just need you to understand that sometimes I do things and don't tell you. I'm just struggling with it all."
"But that's not my fault tom." I said bitterly "I want you to raise little alexa and be a good dad but it is just fact that it means you can't be there for lily as much. I don't expect you to be because she loves you regardless. But I also don't appreciate that you'd keep it a secret."
"I'd only keep it a secret if I hadn't come out yet. Because the two go hand in hand don't they? I'm raising a kid with the person I'm dating, who also happens to be a guy."
"Oh. Didn't think of that. Was too focused on you getting your family I forgot you hadn't come out yet." He smiled softly
"Shows you really don't care." He said softly. His constant change in attitude was confusing but I put it down to being an outward representation of the pent up confusion he'd been experiencing for months "I'm still tom. I'm still your Tommy always. But some things change and I can't be sad forever. I love him and I love her and I love you and little lily all so fucking much." He seemed to pick up on my confusion and opened his arms up for me to hug him. I shook my head "Did I do something wrong?"
"No tom. You're fine. I'm going to bed."
"What's wrong darlin?"
"I know it's difficult but it's not okay to take it out on me. Because in truth tom it does affect more people's lives. Maybe not on a big scale but it still does."
"I'm not saying that. Lex-"
"No. I'm going to bed. Keep the door locked and I'll cover for you in the morning." I stood up but he didn't move from where he was stood just a few feet in front of me
"This is why I didn't wanna tell you. Because you'd think I was going to leave you behind."
"Just go do your family thing alright? Me and lily will be fine."
"But can I still see her?"
"Fuck you for ever thinking I'd take her away." I said coldly, before leaving him alone and going back to bed.