Fakemates

Chapter Twenty-Four

Dean

"Is there an age limit?" I asked as if I was in line for a roller coaster.

I half expected her to take my height measurement at the door to see if I was allowed to even be here.

Her office was tiny or maybe I was just looking for any excuse to run away from this. Dr. Ramirez was the best therapist in all of California.

I made the appointment because torturing myself over images of Evelyn and drinking myself to sleep wasn't helping.

The red-head in front of me gave me an odd look but didn't make fun of me.

She took off her glasses, revealing ember eyes, and proceeded to set them on the mini table beside her. She closed her notebook and unclicked her pen, leaving it in her lap so she could focus on me.

"No, all ages are welcome." She said with a smile.

"I'm sorry." I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants. "I've never done this before."

"Why don't we start by telling me why you're here?" She put her glasses back on, but didn't reach for her notebook.

"I...I lost someone that means the world to me. It's stupid." I said dismissively, waving my hands when I saw that she started to write something.

Her pen froze and she raised her brow as she stared up at me. "Losing someone is stupid?"

I shook my head. "No, the reason as to why I lost her is stupid." I looked at her, waiting for her to ask me another question, but she just sat there waiting.

"I...I grew up in foster care. I never met my birth parents, they left me when I was a month old. Just dropped me off at the doorsteps as if I was some fucking loaf of bread. Sorry. Can I cuss?"

She gave me a nod of her head.

"I bounced around and the system is really fucked so I never had a proper home. I got adopted by the Jamesons when I was sixteen, and I gave them the worst time. I was just horrible."

"Why do you think you were horrible to them?"

"Shit. I don't know. I guess I didn't think they'd last. I mean, no one adopts teens. Everyone wants the little babies with cute baby clothes, yet they took one look at me and chose me."

"Me. They were an elderly couple too, and I never built the courage to ask them why they chose me. They passed away a few months ago and it...it hit me really hard."

"Do you feel like they abandoned you or that they passed away?"

"Both. Sometimes I wish they were alive so I could treat them better. So I could show them that I did something with my life. That I'm not the same stupid teenager I was when they first had me."

"I feel like they left me. They just...left. I know it's not like they packed up their suitcases and abandoned me, but my brain can't seem to process the difference. In my head, they left me."

I rubbed my face with my hands. "The one person who was with me when I was grieving, I lost him too. I can't even blame it on anyone else but myself. I fucked up. I hurt him and I hurt her."

"Would you like to tell me how you hurt them?"

"Nick has been my best friend since we were in middle school. He has a little sister. I never saw her as anyone important. Then one day, I just did. I saw her and I think I just...fell in love with her."

"I saw her again a few years later and we got together under weird circumstances. We hooked up and didn't tell anyone."

"Then one day, I just pushed her away. I made some stupid problem, said shit I should have never said and broke her heart."