Late Night Thoughts

Dear John

This is my version of John, I think we've all had a John in our lives...

Dear John,
I want to see you again, how are you? How have you been? What have you been up to all these years? Are you seeing someone? Did you miss me? Do you ever think of me the way I think of you, at least once a day?

Ever since I saw you sitting by yourself in that crowded cafeteria looking around, like you were waiting around for someone to come talk to you, I knew I would like you. I'm sorry because I saw you and I didn't go up and talk to you, maybe then we could have been friends a long time ago. Well, you always did find a way to make me apologize.

Little did I know you were the one I had asked for. I had asked God for someone like you and there you were, just there sitting behind me in history class. You in those skinny black jeans, with the red shirt popping out from your uniform cause it was your favorite color, like fire. I remember you were like fire, always burning and captivating but you would eventually burn out, we would burn out eventually.

You didn't know me then and you obviously don't know me now. But can we maybe meet someday? On the street? Can we talk like old friends? Like the friends we never were, or would your wife or girlfriend mind? Do you have a son? Does he have your dark unruly hair or your beautiful bright brown eyes and carefree smile? Does she look at you like you're the best thing that has ever happened to her? Do you look at her like that? I wonder.

Do you remember all those crazy sweet nothings that you said to me? All those false promises you made me believe, so I wouldn't get mad at you? I think you're the only guy I have truly loved, but it didn't matter to you. You did feel like that at one point about me and it was great but your fear took over and you pushed me away, and you pushed those feelings away. I never understood how you were able to do that? How could you put those feelings away without even thinking about mine?

But, I'm not mad at you, not anymore. I forgave you but I'm not sure I was able to forget. I keep thinking it was bad timing. I guess i never got closure.

Sincerely,
The girl that loved you and would probably love you again if she had the chance...