BALH 2 OS

Fairy Child

Peals of laughter in the middle of wailing was Ram's first memory of Shivina. When he held her for the first time, he felt light, almost feather like. The world that weighed over him melted away and it left him in a place of joy and comfort with his baby sister.

'Shivina', the name that illuminated the darkened corners of his mind, the person who was his reason to live when his world was snatched away. Could anything be more painful than that? As long as Shivi was there, he would find his place of peace. And with a flick of a finger, his world changed again, but this time he was dragged to the darkest pit and left alone to navigate.

Ram stared at the half empty glass of water. It's been three hours, and every sip was like a dagger in his mouth. Every time Ram closed his eyes, he dreamt of drowning. Water hovered over him, and he sank deep and deep into the ocean. The dream was eerily soothing, like a an ominous lullaby. He longed to stay, for he hoped to meet his sister, the fairy child who will light up his day.

Tarun knocked on the door with a tray of food and a phone. He leaned forward and drew the curtains, dimmed sunlight seeped into the room, turning the ivory walls golden. Outside, the world transformed, but Ram's world was muted.

Tarun placed the phone on the table. Brinda and Adi's worried face gleamed through the phone screen. Tarun placed Ram's pills on the food tray. The sight of thin corn soup and two buttered bread slices would have made Ram laugh. He closed his eyes in vain to recall of a time where food made him ecstatic. The memory seemed far away, almost erased. The image of Priya scolding him for taking unneeded medicine slunk into his thoughts.

"Is it so wrong of me to wish for her presence?" he asked, eyes still shut.

"Jaan, listen," Brinda said, "you must eat"

Ram nodded. It was the easiest thing to do. Words were hard to form, and they hardly made any sense. The world stopped making sense the day Shivi left.

"I am not cutting the call until I see you finish the entire meal"

Ram laughed dryly. An unknown coldness warped him. Everything around him swelled and shrank, dizzying and suffocating him. He wanted to cry, scream his lungs out, he wanted to break away from himself.

"There is no purpose," Ram said

"There is, it's about Priya," Adi said after a minute of long silence.

"What about her?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the bread slices.

There was a time when Priya's name soothed him. She was the warmth on a cold winter morning, but when Adi took her name, it was like an ice dagger into his heart, freezing his entire existence.

"I think, you should see her" Adi wavered, unsure how to continue.

"Priya is pregnant," Brinda said, "and we think—"

Ram gulped down a glass of water and smiled wryly. He remembered the false pregnancy announcement he made at Alibaug, how ecstatic Shivi was, the way she jumped with him. If he close his eyes, he would be hauled back to that moment. Everything was perfect. He was happy and probably those few minutes of happiness would remain the happiest moment of his life.

*

Ram poured himself a glass of whiskey and rested his head on the table. Kapoor Mansion grew emptier with every passing day. An eerie coldness remained in every corner. It's been over three months and Shivina's ghost still lingered in Ram's thoughts. Every word uttered traced him back to a world with his sister, a world with no worries and boundless wonder, a fairy world with happy memories.

Ram took a sip of whiskey. It tasted stale and burnt his tongue. He gave a hollow laugh and put his phone on speaker.

"You know, after a point, you should go back to your room," Adi said.