BALH 2 OS

Priya's Fairy Tale

An eerie quietness filled the air, and everything around her blurred. Priya opened her eyes, only to be surrounded by a faded familiarity. Everything felt like a dream and in a half-dazed state, she opened and closed her eyes.

"Where am I?" she breathed.

Events of the day rushed back like a never-ending montage, hazily she recollected standing in front of the Devi and Ram putting sindoor, his touch lingered on her forehead and Priya wished for the moment to freeze, to soak in every bit that connects her to Ram. It was an awful thought, a very selfish desire to cherish crumbs of a love that she didn't deserve, and for a brief second, she wondered whether she was dreaming. The room that once warmed her with love and happiness turned icy, the walls that watched her tears and smiles turned barren, stripped off from any sort of beauty. Everything was a stark reminder of Ram's life, a reflection of the dark hollowness she left him with. A staggering pain hurried through her bones. Her whole body seemed to cripple as reality dawned on her. The reality from which she had been hiding and escaping for the past five years was right in front of her as complete ruination.

"What have I done?" Priya whispered as cold air seeped into her skin. She shivered and pulled the blanket closer, an odd guilt flushed in her. "I don't deserve this comfort. I don't deserve to be in this room. I don't deserve..."

"Priya... Priya.." Sara's worried voice broke her thoughts. "What happened? Are you alright?"

She nodded, half drowning in her thoughts and half listening to Sara. Priya reached for a glass of water. She was having a splitting headache, there was a strange heaviness pulling her down, she yearned for the floor to crack open and bury her from what was weighing her down.

Sara placed her hand over Priya's and asked, "you okay? You are pale"

"I am fine"

Priya took a sip of water. "Sitting here feels wrong"

Sara looked at her with a curious expression, as if waiting for her to continue.

Priya placed the glass on the side table. Ram's medicine tray rested there as if rooted to the spot. There were a lot more medicines than there were five years ago. Something pierced through her, the pain felt physical, cutting through her skin. She clutched onto the bedcover to stop her from slipping away.

"Priya" Sara whispered.

Her eyes drooped, she tried opening, tried absorbing the minutest details of the room that once was her home. The smell of medicines bewitched her thoughts, and the blurred image of Ram taking his pills flickered in her mind.

"I am tired", Priya said in a half-lost state and fell asleep.

***

"Mumma! Mumma!", Pihu's cry screeched into Priya's ears. The child looked scared, face colourless. She jumped onto the bed and hugged Priya. There was a strange warmth in the hug that tenderly erased her reality. Priya felt herself being taken back to a world of their own, of adventure and fairies, far away from reality.

"Ms Sood, are you okay?" Pihu asked, "we should leave this place now"

"We have to stay," Priya said. "Think of this as a new adventure. It will be a unique adventure and you will have a lot of fun"

Pihu's face drooped. Priya was exhausted. She could hardly move her hand to caress Pihu. Surviving the most bizarre days on the road, eating morsels and starving for days felt easier than being in Kapoor Mansion and being taken care of by Ram.

"Why should we help Mr Khadoos?"

The word 'Mr Khadoos' from Pihu's mouth made Priya shrivel. This felt criminal. It was criminal to let a child call her father something ill and dishonourable. She opened her mouth to correct Pihu, to make her understand, but how will she untangle this web of endless deceit without losing that one thing that anchored her from sliding into reality?

"I cannot lose Pihu," Priya said softly to herself. "I cannot survive, I need her," she continued to chant quietly, like a prayer.

"Ms Sood! Ms Sood" Pihu shook her, but Priya was lost in a world of her own-half real and half make-believe. Pihu's presence drifted her to the fairy tale world, but the haunting presence of Ram and their shared memories grabbed her to face the reality. There was a reason she never wanted to return to Mumbai, she felt the city will drown her and selfishly she didn't want to, she yearned to survive as long as she could by escaping, to be always on run because of every hardship she faced would look meagre in front of what Ram went through.

"Let your mother rest," a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts. She lifted her head to face Ram. His eyes softened, and the familiar worry graced his hollow face.

"Mr Khadoos," Pihu exclaimed and Ram flinched. It must have felt like a dagger reminding Ram of Priya's betrayal. The colours of his face washed away and Ram stood there unmoved.

"I am sorry, she didn't mean that"

"It's okay. Why should it matter?"

Priya's body stiffened. It mattered, and she wanted to yell that, screaming her lungs out and telling Ram the whole truth. Maybe this will save her from complete damnation.

"I will send Tarun. If you or your daughter need anything, tell him," Ram said.

Priya watched him walk away. An agonizing pain crippled her, and for the first time in five years, she wondered what must have Ram felt on that day.

"Pihu, can you call Sara Maasi?" Priya asked.

"Why Ms Sood? I will help"

Priya smiled, but her smile vanished in seconds. The thought that her child is made to worry so much about her because of her own actions unsettled her. Priya felt the fairy tale she weaved around her life was peeling away. Was it the walls of this room? The memories that are haunting her conscience. Or was it the presence of Ram? The person she wanted to escape anchored her back to reality.

"Priya, you alright? Should I ask Ram to call the doctor?" Sara asked, worried.

"I can't stay here"

"Priya, you agreed to help Ram. What happened? Did anyone say anything?"

Every passing second, she was reminded of all the happiness she had and how she threw them away and destroyed Ram's peace. Priya grew up believing her life is cursed, only to realise she is the curse. Sara gently brushed her unruly hair and patted her cheek. A lone drop of tear escaped her eyes. When they were children, all of them used to do each other's hair before bed and it was Akki who always tied Priya's hair.

"I miss Akki," Priya whispered so softly that she doubted whether she uttered the words. Cold, stale air in the room stiffened her body. Sara's presence blurred away. She found herself in a hollow space where everyone whose life she ruined flashed in front of her. Every single day spend growing up with Akki, the first time meeting Shivi, how she said she wanted to call Priya, "bhabhi".

"I can't, Sara di, I don't think I can do this"

Sara held her hand and said, "Breath, I will talk to Vikrant. I am sure they can come up with an alternative solution. You don't have to suffer like this"

Outside the room, Pihu stood with Ram. Priya watched them, Ram making Pihu understand something, and Pihu laughing in between. They looked like a perfect picture, so distanced, away from her. A happy picture that she tore apart. If she cursed her father and her mother for her fate, then what was she to Pihu and Ram? Maybe her repentance was in helping Ram and Pihu find home and peace in each other. This was not the fairy tale she dreamed as a child. This was not what she imagined her life to be, but this could become their fairy tale and in it she would find her peace.

"I'll help Mr Kapoor," Priya said.

"Are you sure?"

"I cannot undo the damage I caused, but I can try to stop it from deepening further," she smiled.