𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞...
You were so excited for the class 1-A reunion, and even happier to see your crush. But it's always one step forward and 2 steps back wh...
Dear god were you wrong. Somehow, it just made things worse.
Everything about him was becoming so- infuriating.
Every whim and expression you used to find endearing was now tearing you apart from the inside.
Three days had passed and they were filled to the brim with glares and nasty curses under your breath exchanged between the two of you.
It hurt in reality, it was a stab in the back and a warm friendship turned cold by your actions.
You sat curled up on the couch, a blanket splayed over your legs and retro flowered pajama pants.
You had a partially zipped up sweater partially concealing your neon sports bra and the hickies and marks that lingered as proof of your mistake.
You watch the TV intently watching as the pixels shift scene from scene.
Your hair rested on top of the couch as you slouch, practically melting into the comfortable materiel.
You lazily flick through the channels as the commercials pass through, advertising products that you could care less about.
Your hear a familiar ruckus by the door, and you are painfully reminded that you are, indeed currently freeloading.
The man you can't bring yourself to recognise passes you by and rushes into his wing of the vast property.
I mean, I am just the narrator but I low key think you went too far. But hey, I am not the one in the complicated mind twisting angsty romance fic, am I?
The events play on the top of your head like a broken record and it just shatters your heart like a glass balloon.
You silently curse at yourself, feeling bad about the way you snapped at him.
The face he made made your head hurt and you wished to bleach your eyes in order to forget.
You contemplate going over and apologising but reluctantly remind yourself, HE was the one who hurt you.
No matter how much you wanted to forgive him, you had dignity, and an image to uphold.
An image which would protect you from any harm, walls that protected from a storm coming your way.
In reality, the both of you wanted to apologise to each other.
He wanted to reach out to you, more than anything but really he wasn't good with words and would either A) fuck up again, or B) give you more information than he needed too or C) embarrass him self.
He really wanted to fill you in, he really did- but he would lose so much more than just you if he did.
You look at the time, firmly believing that it will pass before you know it and you can resist the urge to go see him, converse and just let things go back to some for am of a norm.
It was painful, yes but it was comfortable.
Home.
A relationship with invisible walls which you wish would just crumble.
Even though you, were the one who built them.
It was a tension flooded game of tug of war between your heart and mind.
While your pride held you high despite being damaged and the nagging feeling of your morals telling you to keep yourself in line, you couldn't shake the craving desire to at least wave to him.
Head in the clouds, you nibble at you your nails until finally you crack.
You make your way towards his end of the house, finding the sound of the water running giving you a clear indicator as to where he is.
'Should I?' 'Should I wait?' you ponder, shifting your weight before you hear a voice exclaim on the other side
"What d'ya want?"
you practically jump back to reality, and search through your thoughts to find an excuse or an answer.
You sputter and freeze like a phone on bad wifi.
You pull air into your lungs and speak through the sound of rushing water, just loud enough for him to hear.
"Can we talk?"
You lean against the door until it opens before you, he stands a towel covering his body with droplets of water streaming down his body his hair was damp and he seemingly wasn't in the shower for long.
He looks frantic, but not distressed. Maybe caught off guard with your words.
"Now? Really?"
you nod, staring everywhere but at him.
"Kay, uhm- just wait a sec."
you watch the door close, accompanied by a small whoosh sound.
You wait patiently before he comes outside in a tank top and some pants.
He gestures to a seat and you take the offer, crossing your legs and pulling every drop of your pride and poise to the surface.
He hunches over, his posture being something you pray for, but you ignore the long sigh that passes through his lips.
"Nothing good will come out of ignoring you, so I came here to ask you once again for an explanation."
you cough, satisfied with your tone and he groans.
"Why are you so damn adamant?"
"If you won't tell me, maybe Makaiyla will?"
you quip and he stops.
"I'm not doing this right now."
he holds his head in his hands and you raise your hands in defence.
"Then give me something! For the love of god, I am in the dark here!"
you are frustrated, and he really doesn't understand it.
"And I get that, but you really need to fucking let this go."
"No, you don't 'get it' because if you did then maybe you would know how to answer the question!"
"What do you want from me! I told you everything you need to know!"
"Everything, YOU think I need to know. Sorry to break it to you, but this isn't only about your life anymore."
you huff in a breath
"I like you, love you. But I am not patient enough to wait for you to tell me everything going at this pace. And if there's anything I know, you care too much about your pride to say you love me too."
you weren't sure if you were confirming it for yourself or any god willing to listen, but it still left a hole in your heart.
It was a blow to his pride, this whole trip was. He was not expecting for you to be so- complex.
Which really was a stupid move on his part.
And really, it bruised his ego because he couldn't prevent this.
He took all this on and it came back to bite him in the ass.
"I'm sorry."
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Thank you for reading! I am sorry this is so early in the morning but most of the time I see you guys reading this at 2-4 AM EST so it shouldn't be all that wild. Love you bunches! Don't forget to have a snack and talk to one of your favourite people, see you next week!
