𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀┃Iwaizumi Hajime

O8.

Chapter n. 8,

P S Y C H O L O G I S T

The smell of disinfectant was making you nauseous, the gleaming white of the walls made your eyes hurt, and the constant silence of the waiting room was beginning to overwhelm you. Your eyes traveled restlessly from side to side, you began to scratch your arms lightly, without wanting to leave marks, you stopped scratching to rub, trying to calm your anxiety.

When they called your name you smiled relieved, it was finally your turn, although you never really wanted to go to a psychologist your mother said it was okay to go from time to time, especially these weeks where you had those strange dreams.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Good."

The conversation continued with normal questions without touching too important topics, until you decided to talk about your last dreams, without knowing how to classify them as dreams or nightmares.

"So you always dream of the same boy?"

"Yeah, well, sometimes his friend is there too."

The sound of the pen hitting the paper was the only thing you could hear in the room, you started stamping your foot constantly, anxious to finish. You never liked opening up to people. What if they used the information against you? What if they betrayed you? You denied to erase the thoughts, now you didn't have to think about that.

"Haven't you thought that it could be a sign?"

You looked at them in silence with a slight frown, you shook your head to clarify that you did not understand what they meant, making them clarify their point.

"Repetitions in dreams; the same boys, the same theme, there are always elements that are repeated. Your brain may be sending signals for you to make decisions related to the events in your dreams."

You frowned at their explanation, do you even need a knight errant and a flirtatious prince? Not clear that it was not. The soft laugh of the doctor brought you out of your thoughts.

"You have to give meaning to things, for example, the abyss you always fall into is, so to speak, your fear, and maybe the boys will try to help you."

"How could they help me? I barely know them."

"Honey, I'll be frank, you have anxiety, fear of socializing, of the dark, of loneliness and sedationphobia¹. They cleared their throat. "Tell me, I know you have very nice classmates and you like how boisterous they are, but have you ever had friends who care about you?"

You stopped to visualize your seventeen years of life, thinking of someone who really cared about you but your mind was blank, everyone seemed to love you, however they used to leave you aside, despite conforming made you feel empty. A vague image of a boy came to your mind, it was none other than Matsukawa, you never really got close to him, but if you had to choose someone from the class it would definitely be him. Despite not showing much interest in you, it is true that he once did care about your appearance by not sleeping sometimes. He was nice.

However, you would not dare to take that step. The step to be his friend. What if you fall? You didn't want to fall again.

"So, I have an exercise to give you and we'll see each other in a week."

You swallowed hard when you heard what you had to do, insecurely you accepted their request but you didn't assure to have any kind of success.

"By the way, you should heal those wounds."

They pointed to your arms full of scratches, caused by your nails, you covered yourself instinctively nodding to get out of there with a shaky sigh.

"I still wonder why I agreed to come."

He watched irritated as Oikawa paced back and forth looking around the store, next to him were Makki and Mattsun laughing at something.

"Come on Iwa-chan, it'll be fun, let's have a drink."

With no other choice he followed his friends, they didn't care much because he was still thinking about what happened in your house, his cheeks turned color thinking about what he did, feeling a little stupid.

"What is Iwaizumi thinking to blush like that?"

Mattsun elbowed Hanamaki laughing.

"Surely in that girl in your class." Oikawa pouted "The other day they couldn't stop looking at each other and they were ignoring me, I left them some time alone."

"Really? I didn't know that our Iwaizumi could fall in love."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He hit Makki on the head, denying his foolish theories "I'm not in love, I'm just curious."

Matsukawa looked at him for a few seconds, nodding.

"Right, it's quite rare that she always seems to be alone."

"Huh? But I have seen that she talks to quite a few students."

He shook his head at Makki drinking from his smoothie.

"They are only companions, but not friends. She also doesn't seem to want to get any closer."

He shrugged. Iwaizumi was thoughtful for a few minutes, absent from the conversation.

"Then we'll talk to her! I say so that Iwa-chan can finally get a girlfriend and stop being a grump- OUCH! So mean..."

Aoba's ace hit the head of his friend who complained in a childish way although for once he could agree with Oikawa, he wanted to get closer to you, he wanted to know more about you and above all he wanted to feel your warmth again.

¹ sedatephobia: fear of silence due to isolation.