The end of the world

Chapter seven

Being distant

Me, Miguel, and Danielle were all walking on the road I have been walking far away from the others. It's been two weeks since I had that dream of Miguel. Everytime i think of that dream I shudder. Like what the fuck was that about? I've never had a dream like that. Ive had nightmares with my uncle from when i was raped but that dream wasnt a nightmare. It was like I enjoyed it. Everytime i think about that dream it makes me want to connect with Miguel but I can't get close to someone. I can't risk hurting myself or them. I've never gotten close with someone besides Hope and my best friend but in the end I left them. I hurt myself in the process when I get close to someone. I try to have relationships whatever but in the end i always have to keep moving forward and leave my weaknesses behind and those weaknesses are the people i get close with.

I've been very distant with Danielle and Miguel, especially Miguel. I can't handle these confused feelings I have for Miguel. Everyone that comes into my life hurts me or I hurt them. I don't think I could handle another painful person in my life. My mother was never a mother to me. My father beat me to a pulp. He beat me so much one time i couldn't even walk so he was an abusive aggressive man that doesn't even deserve to be called my father. I swear if I ever see him again I'll beat him to a pulp to see how he likes it.

My brother Dickson was a fucking pansy ass daddys boy who is such a dick. No wonder they named him Dickson. It suits him well. He's the biggest dick that I have ever come across. Dont get me started on my uncle the one that raped me. Who in the world does that to their thirteen year old niece? He will burn in hell and I promise I'll make him go down that passage to get there. I know we were in Alabama but really I didn't deserve that nor would anyone else. I mentally roll my eyes. My aunt Meranda wasn't that bad. She was weird to say the least.

She always did these weird things and said weird stuff. Her and Dickson were oddly close. Too close for aunt and nephew. The only person I liked was my little sister and I left her. She needed me and I chose to be a selfish bitch and leave my little sister with those phycos. "Bel you need to drink something." Danielle tells me, snapping me out of my thoughts. Not this shit again. After what happened last time i wasn't eating and drinking Miguel and Danielle have been treating me like a baby and trying to take care of me. It's getting quite annoying when i can take care of myself and when i have been eating and drinking enough.

"I'm fine." Danielle has told me to take a drink five times in the past hour.

"Bel–" I cut her off. I'm done. I grab the canteen from her and dump the water out of the canteen and throw it at her feet. She looks at me in shock.

"Oops. I guess you need to go find a stream and get more water." I said, shrugging my shoulders innocently. Danielle scoffed and walked off going to find a stream to get more water. I hope she gets lost. You know what, I should just leave. I kept thinking that for the past week but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Why'd you do that?" Miguel asked after a little while. He sat down on a rock at the edge of the forest.

"Do what?" I asked obliviously standing on the other side of the road. He glared at me.

"You know what I'm talking about. Dumping out the water." I just shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm getting sick of both of your guys shit." He looked at me confused. "I'm getting sick of you guys treating me like a child. A child that needs protecting and being taken care of." I clarified. He scoffed.

"Well I'm sorry we care about you." it was my turn to scoff

"Okay for one why in the hell would you guys both care for me you both barely know me. And secondly, I've taken care of myself with no one around since I was sixteen. So for nine years." Since this apocalypse happened I have been keeping track of the months my birthday was the day i had that mega panic attack in that pantry. I didn't tell anyone so now I'm twenty four. He studys me for a second.