More than Nothing, Less than Something

Chapter 3: Angel

He knew I was lying, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I knew that he could see straight through me by now.

I barely talked to him during band. How could I just go on like everything was fine? I tried to just ignore him and look at Mr. Freeman, but I kept feeling his eyes on me like lead weights.

He wouldn't stop. I would look over at him and fake a smile to break the awkwardness. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't focus.

After band every morning, I had science with Mrs. Hickman. It wasn't necessarily my favorite class, but it was enough to get my mind off of everything going on.

Everyone called her 'Hippie Hickman.' It was pretty rude, but in their defense, she did seem rather liberal. Before she took her job as a teacher, she was an environmental scientist.

She used to play the drums in some band when she was younger. She has pictures plastered on the walls of her playing in it with long, flowing hair ad ripped jeans.

The hair hasn't changed much, but the way she dresses now is toned down. She usually wears khakis and a button-up shirt.

Even though most people didn't like Mrs. Hickman, she was one of my favorite science teachers.

You know how most teachers seem completely uninterested in their job? Mrs. Hickman is one of the few teachers that appeared to be genuinely excited about the things she's teaching.

It probably had something to do with the fact that she was an actual scientist for part of her life. She really made me want to learn something.

I walked into the class, smiled at Mrs. Hickman, and took my normal seat next to Renée and Donna.

"Hey, you still got that homework?" Renée asked me.

"It's got your name on it," I said as I handed it to her.

As Mrs. Hickman talked about covalent bonds, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation going on in front of me.

It was Penny and Gina, two of the most popular girls in school.

"I mean he's crazy cute, but I know he doesn't really date just anybody."

"John is just shy, Penny. Trust me. He'll come around."

Everyone knew Penny had a crush on John. Even John knew. I never thought he actually liked her, but romantic feelings usually isn't a thing that we talk about.

"I don't know, Gina," Penny said. "Everyone tells him I like him and he never says anything about it."

"I know everything about guys. He's just super nervous."

Of course this would happen to me. Just when I thought I could stop thinking about him, he had to come right back into my mind.

I had to get out of there. I couldn't sit and listen to this any longer. My hand instantly shot up.

"Can I go to the bathroom, please?" I asked.

"Hurry back," she said, only interrupting her lesson for a millisecond.

I walked out of the door quickly and made my way to the bathroom. I just wanted to stay in there long enough to not have to hear anymore of that conversation.

After a few minutes, I walked back into the classroom to find that Mrs. Hickman was done teaching. It was near the end of class, and everyone was talking and doing a worksheet.

"Did you hear those girls?" Donna asked as I sat down with my paper. "They're basically obsessed with John."

That is definitely not what I was looking to hear when I came back.

"Yeah. I don't see why," I lied.

"I know you've been friends forever, but you've gotta admit he's pretty hot."

She definitely wasn't wrong. He has brown hair that sometimes grows long enough to rest on his forehead and big brown eyes to match. He's widely regarded as one of the best looking guys in our grade.

"Maybe, but it's still weird to think about him that way."

"Yeah, right," Renée said. "I see the way you two are with each other. You can't make me believe for a second that there's not something there."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "We're just friends. There is definitely less than something going on."