BALH2 Reimagined

Reimagining E84: Ram Ka Ateet (Part2)

Context

[Ram and Priya are at an impasse after their conversation in the bakery about their philosophies of marriage. They drive home.Ram's version of events.]

Ram shot out of the bakery. He was walking so fast; he was almost sprinting. But he couldn't have gone fast enough. All he wanted to do was get into the car and drive, drive, drive. He momentarily regretted the sentiment that tied him to Dad's gift. What he craved now, was for one of those ridiculously expensive toys most millionaires had; something he could gun into the night with reckless abandon.

The mugginess in the air only seemed to follow him inside the car. He worried that the electricity buzzing through him would react with the oppressive heat, somehow, and set the whole car on fire. Being hijacked by emotions was not a new experience for him. In fact, he had coping down to a science. Emotional management was all a matter of buying time. If he could slow down the clock—relish a cupcake by the morsel, sing a song attuned to its every note, sink into a play-by-play of a cherished memory—he could usually find a way to put distance between what he felt and what needed to be done. He just needed to take a step back, and...

The click of Priya's seatbelt interrupted his simmering. He put the car into drive.

Ten minutes later it was clear that the emotional freefall was still in full swing.

The dam finally burst. God, arguing with Priya drove him up the wall. And she didn't even know how to fight properly! He knew she was angry with him, disappointed even. But she had just iced him out. Not taken him to ask, not bothered to let him explain. Who am I to get angry with you? I'm just someone new in your life. This marriage happened, against both our will. And now I'm tethered to you, against our wishes. He hated it, no absolutely loathed it, whenever she trotted out the "our marriage was a compromise and obligation, anyway" card as a way to deem the troubles in their relationship not worth fixing. It made him feel small, insignificant...dismissed. He wasn't some romantic, in denial of the circumstances in which they had wed. But he fundamentally disagreed with her view that their marriage mattered less somehow, just because of that fact. Were they doomed to perpetually resent one another, just because they had not been each other's first choices?

Whenever Priya painted them as two individuals unwillingly forced into a union, it bothered him. Their marriage had been a compromise, yes. But it had also been a choice. If he'd learnt anything in business, it was that compromises were the alchemy of deal-making. In the delicate dance of giving and receiving, you learned to respect what mattered to someone else. And when you finally conceded, it was with a commitment to honour what you had created together. Nobody had dragged them kicking and screaming around the marriage pyre. They'd smiled for the photos willingly, accepted everyone's blessings with the determination to make this work. And hadn't it all been for something worthwhile—to see his darling Shivi and her favourite Akki take flight?

What was so wretched about obligation, anyway? When they had both agreed to leave love behind them, couldn't their duty to each other be the north star that paved the way for a marriage based on mutual respect, kindness and care? He flinched recollecting Priya's seeming vision for the future. I don't want you to have to choose between your marriage and your other relationships. I will always take myself out of the equation. What a diplomatic way of dealing with things, he supposed. He knew some spouses would rejoice to be afforded such leeway. But he couldn't stomach the thought of a marriage so apathetic it had no qualms setting aside each other as and when it pleased. It was simply not how adults behaved. When you gave your word to each other, it meant something. And of all the people in his life best placed to understand the sanctity of a vow, he would have thought Priya topped the list.