Traces of You

Chapter 18

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Miles sat down at his desk in his bedroom. His head rested on his arms and his eyes were hazily looking out his window. Even though it was summer, the world was a bleak grey. The only thing moving were the thoughts in his mind.

Nina was the girl in the newspaper.  He remembered the flashback he saw of her and her step-brother, and all the times Terra had been tormenting her. To end it all, she had apparently committed suicide at the school.

He sighed into the wood of the desk. His eyes were tightly shut closed, only being able to witness the dark side of his eyelids. In that darkness, it provided a safe solace.

It was going to be hard to look at Nina with normal eyes. Not after everything he knew now. The context behind her made him feel all sorts of things. Guilt. Regret. Pity.

He could always wake up and pretend all his friends had normal lives, but no one was an exception. For one, he was someone who always moved around, Christie had been adopted. Colton's family was uptight.

But, for Nina, it was like all the luck in the world was taken from her.

"What is up with her?" he muttered under his breath.

With an ounce of any energy he had left, he forced himself to get up from the desk, like a zombie. His back was hunched over as he fell back on his bed as if he just spent a day out.

As he laid there like a limp noodle with no energy, he found himself staring at the ceiling with a blank expression. His eyes became half-lidded, and his lips slightly parted unconsciously. 

The ceiling started to weigh down on him. The blaring whiteness started to surround him and encase his body. It almost felt like he was being lifted into another world. However, just when he thought he had a piece of serenity, he blinked and the world slammed him back down onto the bed.

Gasping for air, he lifted himself up and crazily searched around the room. Beads of sweat slid down his temple. His hand wiped it away in a frenzy.

His hand shot over to his phone and he instantly scrolled through his photos to a picture he took of the newspaper article. Speeding through his photos, his eyes swam in a whirl of digital colours blurred together. It seemed like hours, with his eyes going numb under the blue light. He relentlessly swiped through until his eyes caught wind a yellowed colour imitating aged paper.  

His finger froze in place and he quickly went back. His body stood still. His muscles were rigid, and a stiffness developed in his limbs. 

As he bore eyes at the unassuming words, they began to stare back at him.  

"She left behind a daughter. . . " he whispered, tracing a finger over the sentence. 

Flashing thoughts of Nina and Rhys in the sports shed came back and he grimaced. Feeling the bile rise up his throat, he struggled to gulp. "It couldn't be. . . her step-brothers child?" he said, not liking it coming out his lips.

Not to say he was disgusted with her— no. By all means, no. She didn't deserve to have such hate, not with what she had been through. She deserved support since it seemed like she never got any.

"How do I help her?" he anxiously muttered to himself.

In the distance, there was a sudden knock at the door. When it opened, his dad peeked through.

"You up?" his dad asked.

"Yeah," Miles muttered, arms covering his eyes.

"Breakfast is ready downstairs," his dad said.