Christmas in New York

10

She touched her lip gently. She still felt tingles on it as she recalled the way he took her bottom lip between his teeth, the way his soft lips caressed hers. Her body was in overdrive. All these senses she's forgotten were piling on, and she didn't know if it was good or not.

Dropping her bag on the floor, Miranda flopped down her bed, looking at the ceiling. She rewinded through their whole date and she loved every single thing.

Why does that make her feel bad?

She should be happy, she should be giggling like a damn school girl, because that's what Ben made her feel like. He made her feel young and in love. Was she in love with him?

Her chest was caving in as tears fell down her cheeks. She wasn't ready for this. She was a fool to think that she was.

She couldn't entertain this. She was falling apart. She was taped and glued together, and she couldn't handle being in a relationship. She would break him, and he didn't deserve that.

Miranda sat up and wiped her cheeks. She took her laptop and booked a flight home. She can't, she can't do this.

She thought of Ben, of his perfect smile and his gorgeous eyes. She thought of the way he seemed to know exactly what to say, and when to say it. The way he looked at her like she was the only woman in the world worth looking at.

Shaking her head, she packed her bags and left the keys at the lobby. She got a cab, getting inside with great precision.

"Airport, please." She told the female driver, and she fumbled for her wallet.

"Miranda, don't leave." Mel's voice came, and she looked up, rolling her eyes. She did not need this right now.

Exiting the cab, she grabbed her luggage from the trunk, and flagged down another cab. "Airport—"

She gritted her teeth, seeing Mel's glowing eyes looking right at her. Why couldn't she leave it alone? She shifted her weight with her luggage, ready to leave and get another ride.

She was about to slam the door, so Melpomene hurried to say, "I'll be the next driver, and the next one and the next one. I won't stop, so sit down and listen to me."

Miranda scowled and brought her luggage to the trunk angrily. She entered the cab, her arms across her chest. "What do you want?"

Melpomene turned a right, leading them into an alley. She pulled the break and looked back at Miranda. "You can't leave now. Christmas is coming in a few days. You have lessons to learn and things about yourself that you have to discover. If you leave now, that feeling in your chest?" She gestured to her. "The heartache and the doubt? It will engulf you whole and you'd have no way of coming back from it."

Miranda felt unshed tears in her eyes and she looked away. For a moment, she hesitated. Then she tightened her jaw. "I think I'll manage just fine," she said, her voice cold, yet with a tiny, barely noticeable tremor.

The Muse sighed. Looking forward, she backed out of the alley and went back on the streets. "Alright, then. Your call."

Sometime between that and the airport, Melpomene left the driver's body. Miranda didn't realize it until they were there.

The driver told her their price and she paid without a word. She glanced up and saw normal brown eyes looking back at her. "Thanks," the driver murmured as she left the car and retrieved her luggage.

Miranda looked up at the massive building. The traffic faded in the background as she left New York soil. It was warm inside, and she tugged off her gloves.

She sat down on a bench, looking at the gloves. It was way bigger than her own, and everytime she looked at it, she remembered the way Ben eased her hand on her cold hands. "Why are you everywhere?" She asked him in her head.

Knowing she'd never get an actual answer, she put the gloves in her bag, safe and away from her eyes.

She got some food from the stores, and she sat down to eat it, contemplating if she was doing the right thing. She remembered the way it felt to be close to him, and the way it felt when his hands caressed her bare skin. She knew it was an accident, he would never touch her inappropriately. But the feeling made her yelp and leave in a hurry. And not because it felt disgusting. But because it felt so right.

She finished her food and she was about to check-in for her flight, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Miranda!"

Turning around, she saw Ben panting, his face red and only wearing a tanktop along with some hastily buttoned jeans. She blushed, seeing his fly down. "Ben, what are you doing here?" She ushered him to a slight secluded area where not many people passed. "Your… zipper is down." She blushed harder.

"Oh," he whispered, embarrassed. "I just… I heard you were leaving." He bit his lip as he pulled up his zipper and fixed his pants. "I was going to your room and you weren't there so I asked at the lobby. You left."

"You were going to my room? In that?" She looked down at his appearance.

"No! Well, yes. I was reeling from what happend. I arrived in my room, and I was in the middle of changing before I realized I couldn't end our date like that." He caught his breath for a moment. "Then I came back up when they told me you were gone so I could actually change but I didn't know what time you left so I didn't want to waste—" He shook his head. "Nevermind that. Why are you leaving?"

Miranda shook her head at him and grasped the handle of her luggage. "I can't do this with you, Ben." She turned to leave.

He grabbed her arm, gently but tight enough so she could look him in the eye. "Do what?" He frowned and his eyes were in so distress she looked away.

She moved her arm away from his grasp. "This!" She pointed to him then herself. "You, and me. I can't! I'm damaged goods, Ben. You can't want me, and I can't be with you."

Ben shook his head. "You're ending us before we even start."

"This is what's best for us."

"And you just get to decide that?"

She nodded. "Yes. Because unlike you, I can clearly see that this ends in pain." She turned around. "And I've had enough pain for a lifetime."

"Miranda, please!" He hurried to catch up with her. He got in her way and tilted her chin up. "Christmas is in three days. Spend it with me, and if you still want to leave, fine, but right now, stay."

Miranda stared into his eyes, begging her to stay. Her gut told her not to leave, but her mind wouldn't listen. It ran through hundreds of reasons why she can't. But she looked at him and she saw one reason she should.

"Okay. I'll stay."