Chiaroscuro-Renjun

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 1➶-͙˚ ༘✶

Your pov

Better to be blind and see with your heart than to have 2 good eyes and see nothing.

It has been really long since you were able to see colors of the surrounding you are in. You were still able to recall some flashes of the images you saw before you went blind, but they were depleting and colors, sounds more and more distant to you.

What is color?

Color is a power which directly influences the soul,

Color is a deep and mysterious language, and the language of dreams,

Color is the smile of nature,

But the concept of color is invalid to you.

"Y/n, there is a volunteer today who will be visiting you, you finally have someone to talk to now! Are you excited to meet him? I heard he is a handsome dude," the caretaker said. She works in the care centre that you have lived in for years since an accident that took your family and sight away from you. She has been taking care of you since day 1 so both of you are like sisters, except that both of you are not blood related.

"Fiona, he is just a volunteer, people come and go, what's there to be excited about? I'm more excited about my meal," you turned your head abit that was facing the window just now towards the voice of the caretaker. Even though you can't see, but your other senses are very sensitive.

"Y/n, get a life man, you have been cooping yourself in this room for almost half a year, you barely communicated with the other peers outside, don't you feel sick of just hearing birds chirping or the wind blowing or the rain falling sounds that you heard? Y/n, please, i want you to become happier," the caretaker walked over to you, kneeling down while holding onto your hands gently.

Your eyes started to tear up when you heard her words. It felt like all the bad memories started to emerge again, especially the tragic day that the accident happened. You had post trauma stress disorder, PTSD, for quite a period of time and it was a rocky path for you to walked out of it. Only until this 2 years, you have decided to walk out from the past and wanting to interact more with the outside world, but you didn't have enough courage to do so.

"Fiona, i really want to become happier as well, but, i don't know how, i genuinely want to interact with people outside but, im not sure if they will ostracize me as i haven't been hanging out with them much, there are so many 'what ifs' in my head..." you sighed and explained to her on your worries.

"Y/n don't worry okay, I'm sure as long as you have the heart to do so, they will accept you, i will try to talk to them and let them welcome you as well," the caretaker tapped her hands twice to reassure you on your worries while you just kept quiet and nod.

You knew it was impossible, because you have overheard some pretty nasty comments made by other peers when you were walking pass their rooms few days back.

"Oh! you mean the y/n in room 405? She always don't come out, so princessy."

"Ya right, what the hell is wrong with her?"

"Not sure too, she always isolates herself in her room, maybe she got mental issues also."

Ouch. You didn't expect it to hurt so badly in your heart even though you barely talked to them. You walked back quietly to your room that day and you remembered yourself crying in your sheets silently even though you were advised not to do so as it will worsen your vision condition.

"It's okay Fiona, i don't want to trouble you so much, you have already worked hard enough and im doing fine on my own," you mastered your last energy to force a smile for the caretaker who is also tearing up when she saw you smiling at her even though you are broken inside. She knows how painful it was to live alone without any family, she knows how painful it is to lose vision when you were still young, she knows how painful it is to struggle with the aftermath of it, she knows how painful it is to swallow everything on your own.