Verita - The Guardian of Darkness

59

It had been Elanthin's intent to grab her coat and leave for the Plains straight away. She'd wanted to grab a horse and ride until the air had blown away the conflicting feelings brewing up a storm inside of her. She'd really intended to. But somehow, her feet didn't carry her to the closest magic portal and, instead, she found herself in front of Aetrian's room after wandering around for hours.

Before she'd even had time to think about what she was doing here, her knuckles had met the wooden door. The sound of footsteps swelled inside, followed by the low creak of rusty hinges.

When Aetrian's face appeared behind the door, it felt like someone had lifted a boulder from Elanthin's chest. Finally, she was able to take a deep breath despite the heavy coat on her shoulders.

"Do you know how late it is?"

Before giving an answer, Elanthin had pushed past him.

"Who cares about the time."

Her gaze wandered through the messy room, which was barely large enough to hold a narrow four-poster, a working desk with two chairs and a simple dresser. Time had left its traces on the abandoned room and a thin film of dust covered the surfaces around them. Only the bed was freshly made.

"Elle, are you quite al–" His voice trailed off as she raised her light blue eyes to meet his. She was aware of all the questions and emotions he must be able to read in them but she was too tired to hold onto her facade. Too tired to pretend she was an emotionless block of ice. What was the point anyway?

Aetrian cleared his throat while avoiding her burning gaze. "Sit down first."

Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder to guide her towards one of the chairs. Elanthin followed him obediently but standing in front of it, she froze up.

"No. I don't need to sit down." I can't, she corrected herself silently. She had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to leave if she did as he asked.

Aetrian seemed to detect her unrest; scrutinizing her appearance, likely searching for clues about what had happened in his absence, he stayed with her as they were. His hand on her shoulder was the only thing she felt clearly amongst her confusion and Elanthin moved to touch it.

At the same time as she felt the smooth warmth of the back of his hand under her fingertips, their gazes met. The air between them was charged with anticipation, while neither of them moved. Finally, she fully lowered her hand onto his and Aetrian broke the silence between them.

"What are you doing here, Elle?", he asked in a low voice.

"Can we ... be quiet?"

Her voice must've given away that she was barely holding onto her composure, because Aetrian didn't utter another word. Patiently, he waited for her to collect herself.

But no matter how long he was willing to wait, Elanthin couldn't manage to clear her head of what she really wanted despite – or because of – the situation. All she could smell was wildflowers; the only sound besides her own pounding heart was Aetrian's racing pulse; her gaze was locked onto his amber eyes, clouded with worry. Before she knew it, Elanthin's hands were in his hair, pulling him closer.

"I just had a terrible idea", she whispered.

Without giving him or herself the chance to change her mind, she kissed him with all she had. It wasn't like she knew what she was doing – as this was her first time initiating anything other than a fight –, but her body moved instinctively. Aetrian responded without hesitation, meeting her halfway as if he'd been expecting it.

The kiss was softer than what she remembered from the tavern. Only after Elanthin leaned in for more, Aetrian let go of the table behind him and caught her waist to draw her up against him. Without breaking the kiss, he turned them both around. Elanthin hadn't even noticed before Aetrian tightened his grip to lift her off the ground and onto the table.

Without any Gratian skirts to restrict her, Elanthin was free to wrap her legs around Aetrian; in turn, he leaned towards her as far as the table allowed him to. As his kisses grew more aggressive, she felt her senses numb to anything but him. Dominating her mind were his flowery scent, the bittersweet taste of his kisses and the rising body temperature between them.

When her cloak started to stifle her, Elanthin tugged at the large bow in front of her chest. The move made Aetrian pull away hastily; having brought a little distance between them, he looked at her as though he expected some kind of explanation. He got nothing, since Elanthin didn't know more than he did. She only knew that she didn't want to end it here.

I don't want to leave, she allowed herself a single selfish thought. There was an ache spreading throughout her body which grew with every minute they weren't pressed against each other. Every minute in which she felt the dread of losing that familiar warmth forever.

After searching Elanthin's face for a moment, Aetrian swallowed. Then he caught her hands and put them around his neck, back to where they'd been, before he continued to loosen the bow himself.

The cloak slid off her shoulders, taking the tunic's sleeves along for some of the way and baring Elanthin's shoulders, before meeting the table with a muffled noise. Aetrian's eyes had followed the cloak, but now they were wandering upwards again. Elanthin flinched in surprise as he bent forward to place a kiss on her shoulder. Slowly, Aetrian worked his way upward, leaving a trail of burning kisses on her bare skin.

Letting her hands wander through his soft hair, she sighed. Without her knowing, this had exactly been what she needed to clear her head and ease her mind. Aetrian's presence enveloped her and started to drown out any other thoughts; thoughts about the Deep's darkness or her inescapable fate.

When his attention returned to her lips, she'd already forgotten all about tomorrow. Elanthin softly bit his lower lip, copying his move in the grimy tavern, and felt him stiffen for a moment.

"Wait." He was breathing heavily, holding onto her waist like a damned person onto salvation, in spite of his words. "Wait a second. Let's think about this before we do anythi–"
She bit his lip again, a little harder this time. "Shut up."

"Alright", he said huskily. With their bodies pressed against each other, she could feel his words resonate within his chest. "Then I won't ask again."

#

Aetrian's chest was rising and falling softly next to her, while Elanthin spewed all the curse words at herself, which she could recollect in her current state.

How selfish had she acted? What would Aetrian think if he woke up and she'd left his side to throw herself into the abyss rather than having breakfast with him?

Maybe this will put a damper on your inflated ego, it shot through her head, before Elanthin regretted it. Bending over him, she placed a soft kiss of apology on his lips. Then she retreated a little and took a thorough look at Aetrian's face. The features appeared sharper due to the shadows thrown by the faint glow of magic runes and the amber of his eyes was hidden beneath white lashes resting on his cheekbones. Nevertheless, he looked too content for a man lying in the midst of aged and dusty furniture.

Worst of all, he looks like someone I could've loved, she recognized. The thought sent a sharp pain through Elanthin's chest.

Not allowing herself another second to dwell on such depressing thoughts about what could've been and what wouldn't be, she slid out of the narrow four-poster and got on her feet – despite the coldness which crept up the hardwood floor.

She felt tired enough to sleep for a week but she also knew that this was a now-or-never moment. Elanthin believed herself to be strong, even in the face of undesirable emotions, but everything had its limits and she was close to reaching the most dangerous one.

Grabbing her coat from the chair on which she'd never sat down on, she didn't turn around to face Aetrian for the last time.

#