Eat shit and die.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑

it's getting harder and harder to keep going every day, as the alcohol draws me in with the sweet sensation of absentmindedness, as i indulge in my harmful habits only if to feel something other than the torment of loneliness. it would be nicer to be stabbed in the heart, the sweet embrace of death welcoming me with warm arms, being overcome with a feeling of safety as nothing hurt and everything was beautiful. yet, it seems easier to indulge in the cigarette smoke and scars than to keep a smile that isn't even mine on my face. i wish for nothing more than to lie down in the grass and just cease to exist, to be completely forgotten, for everyone i knew to have the blessing of ignorance to my very being. i feel as if i'm useful at nothing but to be chagrin, i just want to exist to listen but not speak. i just want to be there enough, however i sleep as to escape the ever looming hurt i want to be free from oh so desperately. i continuously seek out comfort in pain. i wish to pluck out my teeth, to taste the saccharine liquid that is my blood. i yearn to harvest my eyes so i'd never have to see my disfigured reflection in the mirror. i hunger to pick the meat off my bones, till i'm nothing but an empty frame. I long for death, as I lose my sanity at an alarming rate. I don't believe in Gods, if there is a God he doesn't believe in me. A constant fear of abandonment looming in my mind. What I'd give to hear you utter "i love you" truly one final time. It won't happen though. We both know it.

- F̶e̶n̶i̶x̶