Power

01

"He's what I want"

I say as Chelsea and I straggle to our dorms.

"yeah right. He's unreachable. You live in a delusional place, Effie."

"Well so what if I am? I want a certain life, and I feel like it's just not an option to have it any other way. Other wise what's the point? this place isn't real anyways."
"Your brain is odd."
We arrive at our break away point. I wave bye as we both head our separate directions to our rooms.
Yeah. She's right. But life doesn't seem worth living if I can't have what I want in life, Seriously.
She says unreachable like thats the truth. He's a billionaire, known as many to be one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the WORLD. But, I've studied his real life and its not all glitz and glamor. not at all. I would be the only one to change his outlook.
I rush into my room and get straight onto my computer. I type all kinds of questions. the same ones i type almost everyday.
"where is Arid Essence now?"
"paparazzi photos of Arid Essence"
"photos of Arid Essence today"
Not today. Nothing today.
I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. This isn't what I'm destined for. Why put me in this messed up world just to have all my aspirations unreachable?
Just then, there's a knock at the door.
"Oh, hey Brian."
"Effie! have any new work published today? Or maybe you're working on something great? Even better than you already have in your portfolio! Oh and, any luck getting back to me about that lunch date? Id really like to use my coupon for Red Robin."
"What did I tell you about showing up at my room? Its creepy as fuck, Brian."
"No i totally get you, you need your space and stuff, I just never see you in homeroom anymore and you never return my e-mails"
"theres a reason for that, Goodnight."
I slam the door shut and lock it. Why does he insist on bothering me?
I go back to my bed praying he just goes away. And after a couple minutes, I see his feet leave from under the door. a relief falls over me.
Yeah, this isn't what Im here for. Why would I even be subject to this?
I wake ip the next morning in the same spot I was. Thats my favorite time of day. when I'm asleep. no worries and completely in my own world. But I know i wouldn't feel that way if everything was the way its supposed to be.
I look at the clock and realize I'm late for work. Great.
I throw my clothes on, wash my face, brush my teeth then head out. I don't rush myself, even though i need this job to pay for college. Whatever, money isn't real to me anyways.
I go back and forth. when I'm poor i say money isn't real, but if i had real money i wouldn't ever say that.
Whatever.
Well, here I am! my own personal hell, that I have to stay at for 8 hours of my precious day. Love it.
I walk into the back of the building and clock in.
" Hey Ef!"
"Hey Justin, what have you been up to"
"not much just wanting to get outa this place."
"yeah, we say that everyday and every conversation we have, don't we?"
"yeah, you're right. that needs to be fixed."
I walk away smiling at him to go open up. Im a beverage server at a Golf Course. Whoopee.
Honestly, its a great job. once you get passed the coke head boss and the catty California 20-year-old girls and the creepiest of all men, it's great. I drive around listening to music, make fun drinks sometimes, but i'm always cautious and watch the men stare at my ass from the reflection of the glass cabinet. It makes my skin crawl, I didn't know that would come with just wanting to make drinks. Oh well, beggars cant be choosers.
I walk to my cart to set up. Everything's a mess, what a shocker!
Everyday Im more and more depressed. I cant be like the people who work 9-5 for 40+ Years and are completely un-phased by it. I can't do it.

"hey girl!"
Oh, the fakeness begins.
"Hey, how are you today Lea?"
"I'm great! Hey, just wanted to let you know you left your tequila on your cart for just anyone to take, I had to out it inside for you."
"I was only gone for a sec, I would've seen anyone if they did take it. But thanks soooo much, you're a doll" I say while screaming profanities at her in my head.
"just trying to help out girlie!"
she drives off.

I sit on hole 7 while writing some of my stories. I had so much hope for this shit about a year ago, but I really feel like now no one will give me a look, even if everything I write is great, at least compared to the stuff most of the film industry shits out today. But I had reality hit my square in the nose last summer. I would send my scripts in everywhere, only to be told I needed to know people in order for it to work for me. I guess they always want to keep you as a little person, even if you have big dreams.

I gotta go here. It's the closest one of his headquarters around where I live. I don't have a plan, but i've noticed whenever i do it fails anyways. so maybe this change of pace will actually work for me.
My very loose plan of action now a days is to meet a very specific man. A man who could give me everything I want out of life, and more.
Maybe If I hang around one of his companies headquarters Ill run into him one day, maybe.
Because I have no ways otherwise of meeting him in a natural way. This isn't very well thought out.

As I close out my cart and clock out, I walk to my car. Need to pay that off, too.
I drive straight to his headquarters.
I know its a very slim chance that he even bothers coming to this location, but what else can I do.
I pull up and park, it looks like only employees are here. I sit outside of the main entrance doors on one of the benches. I take out my computer and start writing.
As time goes on, I hear the wind pick up then settle, I hear the birds argue and the mutterings of employees coming from the cracked window above me. Wonder if they've ever met him.
The sun begins to set, and I start packing up to leave. another day, more disappointment.