𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯 - 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘣𝘺

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*TRIGGER WARNING*

please take care of yourself, this is a harsh chapter<3

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I hum to myself as I continue to make bubbles in the water

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I hum to myself as I continue to make bubbles in the water.

Lucas is playing in his room while I run him a bath. It's been a long day and I think he just needs to get to sleep.

Running my fingers softly on top of the water I can hear the pain from that day.

I hum to myself as I continue to make bubbles in the water.

Lucas is going to love his green dinosaur bath. My baby turns 2 today and I couldn't be more proud of him.

I just wish Milo was here. I often wonder what he would look like, what he would sound like, smell like.

My angel baby.

I made a mistake. A big one.

I let my guard down and failed to notice the sound of his footsteps behind me. I freeze, body so still I might as well have been a statue as I become aware of his presence behind me.

The fear trickles through my veins.

I realise I'm vulnerable. I wait for something to happen, anything but it never comes.

"Carry on. My son is waiting." He hisses down into my ear and I can't help but flinch. He laughs.

I blink out of the memories and I inhale a deep breath once I realise the water was starting to get to high. I let some of it out before making my way to his room.

He has always loved dinosaurs so it wasn't a question when it came to decoration. I did most of it myself, odd DIY jobs with the help of my small family, papa, coach, Ellie and Sloan.

I smile when I spot him laying on the floor, one arm out moving a car along the dinosaur run which has a car track. If you listen closely you can just about hear the soft grrr sound he makes for the car.

"Lucas. Time for your bath baby."

"Lucas, time for you bath baby."

My voice is shaky and I pray he doesn't notice it. I left him in the bathroom after he told me to come and get Lucas and everything in me hopes he has left by the time I get back.

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