Tropes And Treasures

Chapter 1

A/N: Before we begin, if you didn't read the tags (which, understandable), this is supposed to be a jokefic not meant to be taken seriously. I personally haven't read much fics containing these tropes, but I thought it would be hilarious to take these characters and smoosh them together into one book with a twist. This is mostly self-indulgent since I've been watching too many Y/N slander TikToks lately. Also, this fic is originally from my Quotev (same username). I posted it here to help me get used to this app. 

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Life was getting tough for Tamir Salonen. Balancing his life as a normal college student during the day and a mafia boss at the night was getting increasingly difficult. It's not that he chose to be a mafia boss for shits and giggles, it was just out of necessity. You see, just three decades ago, before he was even born, his parents died in a tragic car crash, and he has been living with his broke, stupid, abusive aunt ever since. And since his aunt was abusive, he learned how to take care of himself from a young age, and started a secret mafia group.

Currently, he just returned from a fight early in the morning and was sneaking into his room through the window, not that he needed to sneak anyway since his aunt doesn't care if he's around or not, though judging by the fact that she's abusive, she probably prefers if he's away.

Tamir closed the window behind him and took a shower, washing off the remaining blood on his body. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist, making his way to his closet and changing into a plain white t-shirt and some jeans. His jeans were halfway pulled up when he heard his aunt yell from downstairs.

"TAMIR, YOU BURDEN ON MY LIFE, COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!"

Tamir rolled his eyes, rushing to get properly dressed and went downstairs to face the wrath of his horrible aunt.

Much to his surprise, she wasn't alone. There was a curly blonde boy around his age sitting on the loveseat next to the couch where his horrific aunt was sitting, but he ignored him

"What the fuck do you want?" he scowled at her.

"As you know, we've been having financial problems," his aunt started, "so in order for me to fulfil my dreams and travel to Japan, I had to sell you to Quirk Rush."

It was then that the blonde boy waved at him with a "hello" and a warm smile. Tamir stared in horror. "What do you mean 'I had to sell you to Quirk Rush'?!"

Quirk Rush was this super famous pop boy band, but personally, Tamir liked punk rock bands better. He's not like other mafia bosses. And since he's a mafia boss, he shouldn't be in an undignified position such as being in thrall to some random boy band member!

"Your bags are already in Ethan Darrow's car. Now, will you please leave so I could have my well-deserved vacation?!" Tamir's terror of an aunt stood up and went upstairs, leaving him and this boyband member—Ethan Darrow, was it?—alone.

"Well," the blonde boy stood up, "shall we?"

Tamir rolled his eyes and followed the boyband member into the car.

-One year later-

"Tamir! Who and why is there a brunette in my huge mansion?!" Ethan exclaimed as he spotted said brunette sitting on a chair, meekly twiddling his thumbs.

"Remember that young CEO I kidnapped a few months ago?" Tamir asked as he absently polished his gun.

"Carter Williams? I do, why?"

"Well turns out, he has a fiancé and it's this guy," he said, jerking his head in the brunette's direction, "Marty Gei-something, was it?"

"It's Marcel Geiszler. Look, I've told you many times, we're not actually dating, I'm just acting as a suitor repellant! See, I was Carter's childhood best friend so he chose me to act as his fake partner and have it be believable!"

"Ah, so he does speak," said Tamir.

Ethan crossed his arms and then looked back at the mafia boss. "Why did you kidnap them anyway?"

"Depends on what fanfic you're reading," the mafia boss muttered.

"What?"

"Anyway, why don't you tell me about your day?"

-Three months later-

Mattias Edward, local bad boy, loomed over Marcel threateningly. "You're gonna have to do my math homework or I'm gonna bash your head in, is that clear?"

"Y-y-y-ye-e-es-s-s, o-o-of cou-o-ourse!" Marcel stuttered.

Mattias growled. "Shut up no one stutters like that!"

Little did Mattias know that there was a figure in the background, watching. Little did he know that he shouldn't have crossed the shy, awkward, quirky nerd or else there'll be hell to pay.

Last thing he saw was a frightened not-his-childhood-bestfriend before he felt pain against the back of his head and then passed out.

....

....

Mattias groaned, a throbbing pain in his head. He made the mistake of opening his eyes and was subjected to an overwhelming amount of light and quickly closed his eyes again, lowering his head. He slowly opened his eyes back up, this time more slowly, and saw that he was tied to a chair. He slowly looked up and around the unfamiliar room, his eyes eventually landing on a similarly unfamiliar figure. The figure opened his mouth to speak before the door open and a curly blonde boy entered and shrieked:

"TAMIR, WHY DO YOU KEEP KIDNAPPING THESE POOR BOYS?!"