Naked Truths

04 - Little Lion man

Content waring: rape, brainwashing, torture, murder

"I didn't had a choice" Tears started to brim Bucky's eyes.

Your hands reached for his.
One holding his human and the other holding the metal one, slightly squeezing for reassurance.

"You don't have to tell me, if you're not ready"

A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked at your hands on his.
He took a deep breath and collected all the courage he had left.

"After-" he swallowed hard before he could continue.

"After I fell of the train.. an organization.. Hy- Hydra.. captured me.." his lip started to tremble.

You brushed his hand slowly.

"They- brainwashed and - manipulated.. and.. beat and assault me.. turning me .. into a .. a- trained assassin.."

Tears were welling in your eyes too by now, you gave him all the time he needed to continue.

"They.. they made me do these things.. and.. I couldn't do anything about it.. I- I never told anyone this before but- they- they would ra-"

Tears rolled down his cheek like a waterfall. You got up from your seat, walked over to him and pulled him into a hug.
Tears falling down your cheeks as well.

"Tha- thank you.."
He pulled himself together again and you sat back in your chair, taking a hold of his hands again.

"The agents would- rape me.. as a punishment if I didn't comply.. I tried to fight against it- but- they would erase my memory everytime I got a bit of myself back.."

You stayed silent and listened to him patiently.

"I am here because they put me on ice every now and then.. refreezing me everytime- they wanted me to.. kill someone.. after I fell of the train.. my arm was badly damaged.. they- cut it off and replaced it with.. this.. well.. not exactly that one.. I- got a new one .. but they gave me a whole metal arm .. which made me the even more perfect assassin.. I- think.. I got my mind back.. I- uhm.. was in Wakanda and.. they helped me.. put the trigger words of the brainwashing away.. They gave me this new arm.. it's made out of vibranium..
I am supposed to be a free man"

His voice broke with the last sentence.
He didn't even believe his own words.

"I admire you.." you gulped out.

"Wha- what..?" He looked at you confused trough teary eyes.

"You're - the most strongest- and I don't mean your.. physical strongness.. which must be.. something- I mean.. your mind.. you're so so strongly minded. I- I am so proud of you and admire you."

A tear rolled down his cheek again.
"No- no one has ever said that to me" he sobbed out.

"What.. you did all those years wasn't you.. and.. I understand.. that it must be really hard to leave that part behind.. but you managed to be here. Live a.. somewhat normal life.. met this.. amazing women.." you softly chuckled.

"-and.. said a big fuck you to that Hydra organization cause you don't belong to them anymore. You- never did.. but.. you escaped them.. you're truly admirable, James."

He tried to wipe the tears that were now freely falling, with the back of his hands, away.

It felt like a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.
Sure he told some people like Steve.. Sam.. and his therapist about his time at Hydra.. but never the whole story..

He felt so comfortable around you.
Even though you may not know eachother for long.. he somewhat felt at peace.. he wanted to tell you the whole truth.. and hoped you wouldn't run from him or judge him.

He would've never thought that you would react in such an understanding way.
For the first time he truly felt understood.

"I am so so sorry you had to go trough all that.. you didn't deserve that. You're a good man." Your heart ached for him.

"I'm not a good man.."

"Yes you are. And do you wanna know how I know?"

"How..?" His voice broke again.

"When I walked trough that door. Full ass pregnant. You didn't run. Instead you were the most adorable charmer giving me flowers and making me compliments. And .. after what you just told me.. that only proves even more how good you are. Because you still don't fully trust yourself.. yet you're sitting here not afraid to hurt me or the baby."

"I- would never hurt you-" He chocked out.

"I know. But all this.. and you telling me your story.. even though you didn't had to, because we don't even know eachother for long.. THAT is what makes you a good man, James.."

He stared at you, not knowing what to say.

"Thank you, for trusting me that much to tell me your story." You went to cup his cheek, wiping the tears away and he leaned in to your touch, making you softly smile.

"Thank you.. for trusting me with your story too.. I- want to be a good man for you.." he shyly looked to the ground.

"That was the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me.." you slightly teared up, pulling your hand back to wipe away the tears.

"I.. want to.. show you.. a bit more.." he slowly pulled up his shirt on his arm, revealing some more of his vibranium arm.
Your fingertips softly grazed over the metal.

"It's beautiful.." you lifted his hand to your mouth. Placing a gentle kiss to it.

"Those were a lot of Naked Truths for a first date" You laughed.

"Naked Truths?" He questioned confused.

"You don't know what Naked Truths are?"

"Uhm.. no..?"

"It basically just means saying the things as they are. The raw truth. Without any filter." You smiled at him.

"I like that.." he mirrored your smile.

"Me too"

You smiled at eachother for a few moments in a comfortable silence.

"Soooo.. coffee?" You broke the silence before it could get uncomfortable.

"Sh- should you.. be drinking coffee?"

"Sergeant you better not try to keep me away from my coffee" you warned him with a stern voice.

"I- I just.. meant .. it- it could be bad- for.. for you and the baby.." he started to panic, not wanting to anger you.

You suddenly bursted out laughing and he looked at you confused.

"Calm down, James. I am messing with you.
As much as I loveee coffee.. I love my baby more so I'm gonna go with a decaf and am keeping my consume as minimal as possible"

"Goood- that's.. good.."

Bucky waved over a waitress and ordered for the both of you.

You blushed to yourself, about how much he already looks out for you.