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Caloy's POV
Having ADHD and classes has always been such a pain. Minsan, hindi ko rin marinig lahat ng paligid ko kapag nag focus ako masyado. You know, when your vision randomly blurs?
I was always sitting at the back corner of the classroom near the windows, kasi legit na mabilis akong ma distract and it sucks.
Everytime professors are discussing something, ako itong nagddrawing nalang bigla sa notebook without noticing. Minsan, I am not even listening anymore.
Proabably also the reason why my grades aren't that high. Kapag nagkakaroon high honors, even highest honors mga kaibigan ko, nahihiya nalang talaga ako minsan kasi I can't get one.
But the moment Prof. Hontiveros became my History Professor, I felt so understood.
The one time she was discussing in front, sobrang active ng inattentiveness ko that day, to the point na I can't focus dahil na zo-zone out lang ako every time I try to.
"In all probability, music has played an important role in the lifecycle of humans perhaps even before we could speak.. Clara?"
Ah, Clara is my real name. After all, I am transmasculine now and I prefer 'Caloy' more.
The moment Prof. Hontiveros noticed that I am zoning out, I snapped out of the zone. Napatingin nalang ako sakanya as I blush from embarrassment.
"Yes, Prof?" That's all I can answer with a shy tone in my voice.
It was extremely embarrassing, knowing the fact that all of my classmates are staring at me right now.
"Any problem? You're zoning out,"
The relieving feeling was, she was not mad. Instead, she was trying to assess the problem on why I was zoning out.
And the shittiest part was, I forgot to take my ADHD medicine today, that's why my inattentiveness is towering this day.
"Sorry po, I think I forgot to take my ADHD medicines. I also think I don't have it right now po dahil nakalimutan ko sa dorm." My only explanation.
And the moment I got head over heels, she just gave me a little smile and said, "Alright, I'll request some nalang sa Bulatao later para hindi maging sagabal sa'yo. See me nalang sa Leong sa Faculty mamaya."
It's like that one sudden burst of wind slapped through my face. My eyes shined through the wind, feeling euphoric from this moment.
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Leong Hall - History Faculty
It's a lunch break now and Prof. Honti said na sa lunch break ako pumunta, so I am walking towards Leong now.
As soon as I arrived, I knocked on the door first before opening it and peeking through the door. I saw Prof. Hontiveros and one more Professor in front of her; sitting on one of the chairs in front of her table.
Prof. Honti immediately saw me, so she waved at me a little, "Hi, Clara! Pasok ka," she greeted.
And so, I did. I went inside as I also greet the other professors inside of the Faculty a 'Good afternoon'.
"Good afternoon po, Prof. Honti and Prof..?"
"Prof. Robredo. Good afternoon, Clara." Oh, I haven't saw this professor in front of Prof. Honti's table before.
"Andito na yung nirequest ko na medicines, hope I got it right,"
She grabs the medicines that was above her table and handing it to me. Kinuha ko and saw it's the right one; Adderall.
I smiled upon getting it, "Thank you po, Prof. I'll take one na po."
"Ay dito mo na inumin, Leilani kuha ka nga ng isang water bottle for Clara," And as soon as Prof. Honti ordered that for Prof. De Lima, she immediately got one for me.
"Upo ka muna dyan sa upuan kaharap ni Prof. Robredo, dito ka na muna,"
Oh this is surely awkward, but I sat on the empty chair in front of Prof. Robredo after all.
"Hi, Clara. May ADHD ka pala? Wait is that an okay thing to ask," Prof. Robredo immediately pulling away from that question, making me giggle a little.
"Okay lang po, and yes po. Since bata pa po ako. And also, can I say something po?"
The two professors went on full ears to me as soon as I said that, "Yes, ano yun?" Prof. Honti asked.
"Uhm.. I don't really like the name 'Clara' anymore because I am transmasculine na po as you can see, I actually prefer 'Caloy' now na po."
I actually have a pixie hair cut now, I don't really like long hairs anymore. And I rarely dress feminine, it's uncomfortable.
The two professors widened their eyes at me, I don't know if this a good thing or a bad one but they are and.. it's kinda terrifying.
But it disappeared when Prof. Honti said, "Really?! That's so cool!" in a 'kilig' voice.
And during this conversation, Prof. De Lima came back with one water bottle and giving it to me, but before she even return to her own seat, Prof. Honti told her about me coming out.
"Ay sakto ka Lei, nag come out itong si Caloy sa amin. He's transmasculine na raw."
Prof. De Lima even widened her eyes at me, telling me, "Oh?! Pogi natin ah! Welcome sa lugar ng mga bading, nak!"
That made me laugh. This knowing that my professors actually accept me more than my family says a lot, they're my comfort space now.
Ever since, parang tinakwil na nga ako ng sarili kong nanay. But even so, pinapag aral niya pa rin ako and that's still okay, I think.
But it would've been better if she accepted me. I just wish this world is a total safe space for people like me, but it's not.
Until then, I find the professors here my safe space now. Sila nalang talaga yung parang pamilya ko na rin.
Especially Prof. Hontiveros.
"Sige na Caloy, inumin mo na gamot mo para hindi ka na mahirapan mamaya. I know how tough ADHD can be kahit hindi ko nararanasan, I will always try to understand you, anak. Lahat kami rito actually, kami nila Prof. Robredo at Prof. De Lima."
It's making me tear up but I don't really want to cry in front of them, it's embarrassing. So instead, I opened the medicine container, grabbing one piece from it and also opening the water bottle to push it down my system.
Afterwards, I looked at Prof. Hontiveros again with a smile on my face, "Thank you po, Prof. Thank you rin po sainyo," I also thanked the other professors around us.
"Anytime, 'nak. Always here to hold you every time you feel like slipping. Okay?"
Ah, Prof. Hontiveros. I just wish you're my mother instead.
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YOU ARE READING
pardon me, professor?
Fanfiction"Professor Robredo, you are just as important as the books." A History Dean and an Economics Associate Dean from Ateneo, trying to fight against all odds in terms of love. But will they ever succeed? lenrisa university professors au language: engli...
