And dawn comes, you're there lying with me

What is it
What is this feeling
It's windy and im surrounded by sun flowers.
These aren't normal sun flowers...they're staring at me...their gaze pierces me and my body.
Why are they staring at me?
Stop staring at me..
Im breathing heavily
No one is there to help me
I try to scream but my Voice wont come out..
Why am I even here?..
Who even am I?
I'm starting to faint
I see a blurry flashback
that boy
Who is he?
He's saying something..
(My Name) hurry up and cnxnme bxkaj txz mze
                                            (come back to me)
Everything is black
I'm starting to gain my consciousness again.
The flowers are still staring at me but this time they're all pointing at me..
They're speaking..
You killed him.
You're the Reason he's dead now.
If it werent for you he would be still alive.
Why did u have to do it.
They continue to speak while I try to run away..
Away from these voices...
Away from these gazes..
just far away.
I'm walking on a road but no car is passing by...
It's starting to get dark and I see a forest...
it's pulling me to it...
I feel a connection
I stopped at a lake..
The water is clear and beautiful and the full moon is shining on it.
Without knowing I already entered the lake..
I'm going deeper and deeper into the lake
Arms are pulling me down...
Into the water
I start to hear the voices again..
,,He died because of you"
,,Did u want to have Attention that bad?"
,,Why did he sacrifice himself for someone like you?"
,,EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT"
I'm drowning...
I can't breathe...
Maybe they're right and it is my fault..whatever Ive done the World is clearly against me and looking down on me..
While many hands are trying to pull me deeper into the lake a hand tries to push me up..
A Memory is floating through my Brain..
I'm standing at balcony
Taking the Lighter out of my Pocket to light my cigarette.
I'm having a break down..
Why am I not good enough..
Why do they have such high expectations on me?
Why do I have to suffer??
Why can't I be happy once?
I see no point in living if I can't be good enough..
I step on my cigarette while tears are dropping out of my eyes.
I stretch my Hand out to feel the pleasant Rain falling on my Arm.
It's time...
Im standing at the balcony railing...
As I try to jump a warm hand holds my Hand.
(My Name) do u even know what u r trying to do right now?
Do you know what could've happened if I didn't caught you?
Did u want to leave me all alone?
I didn't give a response
I don't know what happened..
But I don't want you to go..
You beautiful smile..
I want to protect it.
I want to protect you (My Name)
I never felt like this for anyone..
You're the first girl I fell for..
Tears started to drop on my Face..
I love you so much (My Name)
Please live and make me your other half..
I started to cry even more now
I.. I tried to say but before I could start he pulled me up and and i grabbed the railing while he fell down
His body disappeared out of my sight..
it happened so fast
I started to panic and ran down just to find his body with blood and his legs and arms crushed..
I hugged his crushed and full of blood body..
You didn't deserve this...
Because of my stupidity...
Because of me are u dead...
I hugged him even tighter now while hearing police sirens..
The Police officers came out with guns and ordered me to stand up..
I resisted and stood up while holding is cold body..
,,STOP RIGHT THERE"
,,MOVE OR WE WILL SHOOT"
I continued to walk until they shoot me two times..
I fell down and let go of his body
it was hard for me to breathe..
His body was right next to me...
I took his hand and hold it..
We will be together very soon...(His Name)
No one will drive us apart...
I woke up again seeing someone next to me
Good morning (My Name) I hope you slept well he smiled
I hugged him as tight as I could
I missed you I said.. I'll never let go of you again..
I hope so he said
He stood up and reached his hand out to me..
Let's go he said
I grabbed his Hand and went with him...
We're together again..
We were running through the forest and I felt the pleasant Air going through my body
The freedom i longed for..
no one screaming at me
no one expecting something from me
truly a magnificent blessing
Everything we stepped on seemed to get lighter..
He's my light in the shadows and sun in the dark
This exactly what I wanted
Not even death will be able to drive us apart
My Love...