Tmf incorrect quotes

Tmf GENDERBEND incorrect quotes (part 10)

Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Jade (Jake's GB): So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Harvey (Hailey's GB): ...I did. I broke it.
Jade (Jake's GB): No. No you didn't. Milo (Milly's GB)?
Milo (Milly's GB): Don't look at me. Look at Zandra (Zander's GB).
Zandra (Zander's GB): What?! I didn't break it.
Milo (Milly's GB): Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Zandra (Zander's GB): Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Milo (Milly's GB): Suspicious.
Zandra (Zander's GB): No, it's not!
Lucy (Luke's GB): If it matters, probably not, but Sally (Sean's GB) was the last one to use it.
Sally (Sean's GB): Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Lucy (Luke's GB): Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Sally (Sean's GB): I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Lucy (Luke's GB)!
Harvey (Hailey's GB): Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Jade (Jake's GB).
Jade (Jake's GB): No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Lucy (Luke's GB): Jade (Jake's GB)... Milo (Milly's GB)'s been awfully quiet.
Milo (Milly's GB): rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Jade (Jake's GB), being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Jade (Jake's GB): I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Jade (Jake's GB):
Jade (Jake's GB): Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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Jade (Jake's GB): Just be yourself.
Steve (Stacy's GB): 'Be myself'? Jade (Jake's GB), I have one day to win Stefan (Sadie's GB) over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Harvey (Hailey's GB): Couple weeks.
Lucy (Luke's GB): Six months.
Sally (Sean's GB): Jury's still out.
Steve (Stacy's GB): See, Jade (Jake's GB)?
Steve (Stacy's GB): 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
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Jade (Jake's GB): petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Steve (Stacy's GB): Wednesay
Jade (Jake's GB): Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
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*The squad is over at Milo (Milly's GB)'s house*
Martha (Micheal's GB): Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Milo (Milly's GB): ... N-No...
Milo (Milly's GB), laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Martha (Micheal's GB), motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Zach (Zoey's GB): I see a-
Milo (Milly's GB), motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Martha (Micheal's GB): Oh, well I-
Milo (Milly's GB): Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Milo (Milly's GB), amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Lincoln (Lia's GB): Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Lisa (Liam's GB): Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Milo (Milly's GB): Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Milo (Milly's GB): I am someone who owns four ovens...
Milo (Milly's GB), louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Milo (Milly's GB): I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Darla (Drew's GB, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Milo (Milly's GB):
Martha (Micheal's GB): Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Milo (Milly's GB):
Milo (Milly's GB), fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
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*The squad right before Milo (Milly's GB)'s wedding*
Hannah (Henry's GB): Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Zach (Zoey's GB): Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Lincoln (Lia's GB): Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Lisa (Liam's GB): I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Darla (Drew's GB),panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
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Milo (Milly's GB): You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Hannah (Henry's GB): That's why I carry two swords.
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Milo (Milly's GB): I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

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Zandra (Zander's GB): Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Jade (Jake's GB): I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Zandra (Zander's GB): 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?
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Zandra (Zander's GB): Hey, Jade (Jake's GB)? Can I get some dating advice?
Jade (Jake's GB): Just because I'm with Lucy ( Luke's GB) doesn't mean I know how I did it.(LANDERRRRR- whoops, I mean...LANDRAAAAAAAA)
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Zandra (Zander's GB): Jade (Jake's GB), I'm sad.
Jade (Jake's GB): *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Lucy ( Luke's GB): Sanders (Shannon's GB), I'm sad.
Sanders (Shannon's GB), nodding: mood.
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Zandra (Zander's GB): Nothing in life is free.
Jade (Jake's GB): Love is free!
Lucy ( Luke's GB): Adventure is free.
Sanders (Shannon's GB): Knowledge is free.
Lisa (Liam's GB): Everything is free if you take it without paying.
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Zandra (Zander's GB): Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Stefan (Saide's Genderbend): >:O language
Lucy ( Luke's GB): Yeah watch your fucking language
Sanders (Shannon's GB): OKAY WHO TAUGHT LUCY ( LUKE'S GB) THE FUCK WORD?
Lisa (Liam's GB): 'The fuck word'.
Darla (Drew's GB: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Lucy ( Luke's GB): Oh my god they censored it
Lisa (Liam's GB): Say fuck, Darla (Drew's GB.
Lucy ( Luke's GB): Do it, Darla (Drew's GB. Say fuck.
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Steve (Stacy's GB): Fool me once, I'm gonna kill you
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Sally (Sean's GB): Where are you going?
Jade (Jake's GB): To get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide on the way there
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Sally (Sean's GB): If you had to choose between Jade (Jake's GB) and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Milo (Milly's GB): That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Jade (Jake's GB): Milo (Milly's GB)!
Sally (Sean's GB): 63 cents.
Milo (Milly's GB): I'll take the money.
Jade (Jake's GB): MILO (MILLY'S GB)!!!
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Sally (Sean's GB): Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Jade (Jake's GB): No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Milo (Milly's GB): Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
Martha (Micheal's GB): Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Sally (Sean's GB): If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.