madness within - a Snupin fanfiction

chapt four

Severus gasped as he jolted up in the bed, covered in a thin sheet of sweat, his breathing pace quickening. He glanced around the room to make sure nothing was in there with him, waving his hand to light the three candles next to his bed for some light. He laid back down in the bed, pulling the blanket over him and staring at the closet – which in his nightmare the wolf had climbed out of before attacking him and ripping him to shreds. His hand traveled down his chest and up his shirt to make sure he didn't have any cuts on his body – or scars that weren't already there. He knew he was being paranoid, but the nightmare felt so real, and to make things worse, his pants tightened and the nightmare had seemed to… turn him on. He felt disgusted with himself.

Severus closed his eyes and took a calming breath, fluttering them back open what felt like mere seconds later to cover his eyes from the sunlight peering in. He groaned and sat up, glad that he had fallen asleep and hadn't dreamt again. He let out a yawn and stepped out of the bed, walking to his drawer and opening it to grab hold of a pair of black drawstring pajamas and a black sweatshirt, tossing them both on in replace of the pajamas he wore the night before. After he was changed, he walked out of the room and down the stairs and into the kitchen, pulling out a pan as well as eggs and rashers to cook.

He put on the heat and cooked everything, heating up some toast and making a plate. He glanced around and smiled when he noticed a basket of fruit, grabbing a grapefruit and cutting it in half to put it on the side of the plate, grabbing a napkin and walking up the stairs to the top floor. He walked down the hall to the last door and reached for the doorknob before stiffening. His eyebrow twitched a bit as he came to realize what exactly he was doing. Before he could do anything, the door opened and Remus stood, his hair dripping from the shower he just took and barefoot in only pants. Remus blinked and glanced down at the plate, frowning a bit.

"Severus?" Remus asked.

"Wh-what…?"

"Is that for me?"

"I-" Severus trailed off, avoiding eye-contact.

"I understand this takes some getting used—"

"Shut up!" Severus hissed, tossing the plate on the ground and letting it shatter. "You should've just killed me!" He hissed, turning on his heel and speed-walking away and down the stairs to the second floor to his room, slamming the door behind him, leaving a frowning Remus.

Severus sat on his bed, cross legged, growling to himself and flexing his fists as he ignored the almost need to go apologize to Remus and to make him food or just do anything he needed done. He shook his head frantically and dropped his head into his hands. 'Why is this happening?' He thought angrily to himself, frustrated with how everything he turned out, he figured he really should've just let Remus kill him in the cell, not like anyone would miss him – he was utterly useless for the Order without spying for information, unless it was in battle, he was quite a fair dueling. But dueling only happened very so often, not enough to make him feel useful, and he couldn't go back to Hogwarts because of the fact that it wasn't safe – Death Eaters' children surrounded his house and he hated to admit it, but that scared him a bit, he wouldn't be able to let his guard down for a mere second. Grimmauld was the only place he was safe, and he had to share the house with the Wolf.

Severus didn't even notice the tears staining his pale cheeks until he pulled his hand away and narrowed his eyes at the blurred vision of his glistening eyes. He rubbed his eyes on his palm and snorted. Before this catastrophe he would never cry, even when he was tortured and on the brink of death. But now he felt… different – he really was becoming a weak slave of Remus'. He pushed out of bed and glanced at the clock, furrowing his eyebrows as he noticed he had been sitting in the room thinking to himself for almost three hours, and it was nearing lunch time and his stomach was growling. He pushed out of bed and wiped his eyes once again before walking out of the room and downstairs, to the kitchen, ignoring the fact that when he entered Remus was sitting at the table, reading through the paper.

"I made soup for lunch." Remus said, not taking his eyes off the section of paper he was skimming.

Severus scowled and poured himself some of the soup into the bowl. He sipped at the soup and scrunched his nose up. "This is… bland."

"I'm not that good at cooking to be honest… I would've asked you too but I didn't want you thinking… well…" Remus sighed and put the paper down. "Severus, we need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Yes we do. Things are only going to get wor—"

"Worse? How can they possibly get worse, Lupin? Do you know what happened to me this morning? I woke up from a nightmare… you killed me in my dreams. Ripped me to pieces!" He almost shouted, narrowing his eyes at Remus. "Then when I woke up… I spaced out. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was at your door, my heart was fluttering! Then you opened the door… and… and you taunt me!" He was now shouting, growling. "Fuck you, Lupin. I will not be speaking with you about this!" He hissed, walking out of the kitchen and only to be stopped by Remus standing up and grabbing hold of his arm.

Severus growled and jerked at his arm but Remus' grip was strong, both of Remus' hands shot out and grabbed onto Severus', pushing him up against the wall and pinning them above his head. "What are you doing!" Severus shouted, glancing up at Remus' eyes and staring at the glazed over rust colored eyes of the wolf. "Lupin…?" In response he received a growl before Remus slowly leaned in, darting his tongue out to run against the invisible bite mark. Severus shuddered and felt an electric shock run down his spine. "Remus…?" He whispered, closing his eyes. He willed himself to open them as he felt Remus pull his head back probably to stare at him, but they were sealed shut. The next thing he knew he could feel lips against his, a tongue pushing against them begging for entrance – which he allowed by opening his mouth slightly to let out a moan, moving his lips with Remus' and getting lost in the kiss.