The Bucket List

Coming Home

A picture of Lexie to the side
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~One 1/2 Months Later~

I have been working out everyday for a month and two weeks. My muscles are sore and I just want to quit. But I'm almost there.

I step on the scale in my bathroom, waiting for the final number it lands on.

105

You're kidding me right? Only five more pounds! At least I can say that my stomach is completely flat, and perfect, my baby face is gone, my butt is toned, all I need is my legs.

For the next week Austin says we're going to focus on my legs. He still wants me running ten miles to the gym everyday.

Working out everyday with Austin is...well, I get to see him shirtless.

After the hickey incident...I told him I won't do anything with him because I promised someone. But he's just so hot. I want to make out with him so bad but- Brooke has liked him for as long as I can remember. She once told me he was her first kiss.

Austin doesn't really know the satisfactory work I've made throughout our sessions because well, he doesn't see my body. I don't want to wear a tank top until I'm down to my goal weight. He thinks I'm still really heavy. Okay no, let me rephrase that. 120 pounds isn't heavy it's just heavier.

No one has seen my body at all really. Only me. I honestly can't wait until I can swim in a bikini. I mean, I can do it now but I want people to see the final product of myself, not just unfinished work.

Brooke hasn't come over that much lately. I think she's been partying a lot more. I know because I see pictures of her wasted all over Facebook. When Nick sees it all he does is cringe and look away. Like what's the problem? He drinks too. Sexist.

Besides the partying I think Brooke hasn't slept over because of my brother. The room is always full of tension when they're around each other. I don't know if it's sexual or even frustration, but something has happened between those two before. Brooke won't tell me because she says it's nothing and I shouldn't worry about it. Come on, she's my best friend. Of course I should worry about it! She's my only friend, really..

Nick wants me to go to a party, but I think it's just an excuse to see Brooke. Usually he goes to parties so I don't see why he can't just go by himself. He used to go to them all the time. Especially over the summer. What changed?

Lexie is back from summer camp. She said it was awful, but I know she had fun. Everyone always has fun when they go there. Even if you're not an outdoors kind of person, which is basically my whole family.

Mom has been trying to convince her to model. She says Lexie has great potential. Why don't I have great potential? Oh yeah, you haven't been home in a month to see how good I look.

My parents have literally not step foot inside our house for a month. This isn't very typical of them because usually they come home at least every week or two. Never have they missed a month without seeing us. I don't really mind, I just wish Mom would stop judging me and my body so harshly. She doesn't even know what I look like anymore. I've changed severely in the last month and a half.

Avery is...Avery. Nick's been nicer to her since our parents aren't home. But I know as soon as they come back he'll be back to his old self. I wish Mom and Dad would be a little more involved in her life. I mean come on, she's six years old. My parents weren't ever really involved in any of our lives. I know they say we need the money to support us, but I think we have enough money to last us a lifetime.

I'm not complaining, though. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I could have pot in my room and no one would notice except maybe Nick.

My body is almost shaped to my liking, and I can't wait to show it off. Mom and Dad come home soon, who knows maybe I'll be model material now.
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