Mike and I [ MIKE X Y/N]

Part 4 - The Presentation

Our presentation actually went pretty well.
It was El's I was worried about.
El's dad (Hopper) died a couple months ago in an effort to keep Russian forces from opening a gate to another dimension. So El picked Hopper to present as a hero in history, and well, it didn't go so hot. She got extremely nervous, and she started stuttering and looking at the ground when people started making fun of it.
Once Will and I got out of history we both went to comfort Eleven, smiling through our teeth and repeatedly telling her the presentation didn't go as badly as she thought, and how cool Will and I found her diorama , practically saying anything that would get her to console in us.
To sum it up, there's this total bitch named Angela, her and her posse frequently like to make fun of El's speech impediment, and anything else they can. El doesn't really take it well, so I'm always happy to be there for her, because I'd want the same for me. God the things they do to her are just awful. Awful. Today one of them smashed El's diorama with their blue Reebok's, and proceeded to laugh in her face about it. I rushed over to her as soon as I saw something going down, but it was a lost cause, El didn't want to talk to me or anyone else, she just wanted to cry.
Angela and her posse just bully stereotypical "nerds"besides El, and I've managed to stay out of they're way for the most part.
Although there was this one summer, at the time I had just moved into the trailer park in Nevada with my mom, and this guy named Kai, who was one of Angela's friends, lived in the same trailer park as I did, so we started to become friends. Push came to shove- he asked me out, I said no, and he's been holding a bit of grudge. He and a couple of his friends can act a little difficult towards me from time to time, but it's not nearly as unfortunate as El's situation, so I've never really told anyone about it, and I don't think I ever really will.
I do feel really bad for El though, her whole life has been nothing but trauma, yet somehow through it all she stays happy, or at least she looks happy.
Sometimes I just feel guilty, because It's not like I was kidnapped and imprisoned as a kid, so why can't I just act happy too? I mean sure, I've had my fair share of life's fun little digs, but I haven't gone through so much that I deserve to be pitied. It's like there's something wrong with me. It's like I just can't be ok.
My dad and mom got a divorce when I was 11, my dad didn't really handle it well, and he started turning to fixes to help with his stability, ironically leading to a continuous pattern of instability.
My dad's a drug addict.
My mom's pretty absent, but she tries, so I don't mind all that much.
I've lost a few friends, but I've also gained a few, so it should balance out. I shouldn't feel alone.
But I do.
I still do.
And it's not even like I'm trying anymore, I just listen to sad music on my Walkman all day or bike around.
It's like I don't even get to control my own emotions anymore, so I might as well give in.