The Executioner's Wife

Bonus Chapter: The Confessions

"This one woman I was with, she was intent on saving me."

"Oh no," Lily was already smiling. They were sitting on the doorstep of the women's hostel where Lily was staying, after taking a walk near the shore. It was late, so Alois had walked her there to drop her off, but then they'd started talking again about the most embarrassing moments of their lives. Now they were just outside her door, sitting on the stone step like kids. It had been about a half an hour since he'd walked her back, and Lily had yet to excuse herself to go inside. Instead she was clinging to the story Alois was telling her, secretly admiring the way he talked with his large, calloused hands to illustrate.

Alois nodded. "She thought I was an executioner because I had a rough childhood or something."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Did you have a rough childhood?"

"Well, shit, doesn't everybody?"

Lily smirked and rested her chin on the palms of her hands, listening eagerly. Alois noticed how cute she looked that way, but forced himself to focus and continue his story.

"Anyway, she's always coddling me. Very affectionate, kissing me, hugging me, all that stuff, all day long. And I liked it, but then it turned into her asking me things like, your mother never hugged you, did she? And 'I'm sorry I wasn't here to love you before". And this is like- me sitting on the toilet for two extra minutes. This is me not finishing my food because I'm already full. But she took everything and made it into some proof of me being an orphan. I sat her down one day, and told her, look, my childhood was fine. My parents weren't perfect, but fine. I'm just the executioner because I'm good at it. She gives me this sad, sorry look and says, 'You don't have to lie to me.' What?"

Lily burst out laughing. Despite his anger at the recounted story, Alois started to grin.

"After that, I have to break up with her because I can't take the pity anymore. The next day I have to execute this guy and then when I get home I'll cut it off with her. So next morning, I wake up, do my preparations, all the while planning in my head the right way to break up with this woman. I get to the scaffold, the guy says his last words and kneels, and I get ready to give the final blow- the axe is in the air, right? Five seconds away from killing this man. Tell me why this woman runs onto the scaffold, throws herself over the guy, and says, 'Alois, stop! This isn't you!'"

"No!" Lily cried unbelievingly. "That's a lie!"

"Ask anybody here. They'll tell you I almost cut this woman in half."

"You're lying. This isn't you?!"

"She said, Look at me. I know you don't really want to do this."

Lily buried her face in her hands. "Stop."

"The whole time the guy is agreeing with her."

"I'm going to die of embarrassment. You have to stop."

"I'm not done. She starts crying. Begging me to have a heart. Telling me that she loves me, telling me that she knows I'm in there somewhere..."

He sighed then, exhausted by the memory. Lily clung to her suspense.

"What did you do?"

"I broke up with her."

"Right there? In front of everyone?"

Alois nodded. Lily sputtered, "Why did you do that?"

Alois threw his hands up. "See- why does everyone ask me that? Why doesn't anyone ask why this woman ran in front of an axe? Why am I the asshole of this story?"

Lily was too far gone in her laughter to consider Alois' questions seriously. Her stomach ached as she wiped desperately at the tears clouding her vision. "Because you areeee!" She cackled, nearly losing her mind. "What's wrong with you?"